day 208

for the whole of yesterday i was getting so much chills.
i stink because fluid seep out from places where skin comes into contact with one another – joints, groin, armpit.
bloody hell!

did i mention my scalp weeps too.
like my face.

BIG SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

on a side note,
i love my family and boyfriend.
my mom heard me sobbing and she came in to give me a hug..
and she sobbed with me.
i know it’s just as hard on her as it is on me..
seeing her own daughter whom she love suffer like this.

she kept asking me not to think too much.
走一步算一步. (take each day as it comes.)
there’s really no point pondering when all these will be over..
but i can’t help it.
how long more to go?

2 thoughts on “day 208

  1. hi,

    im a 20 year old asian girl and just wanted to say.. DONT WORRY IT WILL GET BETTER! this past august, i started getting eczema again (had a short break out in high school) and i used otc cortisone cream. ive grown up with a mom who never believed in steroids/western medicine/dermatologists, so thankfully ive never taken oral steroids. however, i used a little bit of cream in august as i broke out on my arms and legs slightly. after about 2-3 weeks of it, i decided not to use the cream and go on a ‘healing’ diet. after i stopped using the cortisone cream and going on the diet, the eczema started spreading like crazy covering most of my arms, stomach area, and legs. i totally know how you feel about feeling like youre in a living hell. i couldnt endure it so i decided to take the quarter off college as well, so ive been living at home with my parents.

    anyway, the reason im leaving this comment is so that you know that it will seriously get better. my withdrawal/healing process has been relatively short compared to what youre going through because i havent used as much steroids (withdrawal started sept 1 and flare peaked mid october, now my skin is healing). it sucks but in the end its so worth it. i remember feeling so hopeless and miserable, but the good thing about time is that it flies. trust me, even though the suffering seems never ending, one day once it starts healing youll look back and not even be able to remember exactly what the hell felt like, what the itchiness felt like, how miserable you were, etc. (in that sense, humans have such an amazing ability to conquer and forget suffering, no? or perhaps we just have such short term memory. hahaha either way works for me.)

    lastly, i just wanted to encourage you to try a healing/detoxifying diet. this is the website that made me change the way i eat:

    http://eczema-natural-healing.com

    now i dont eat anything processed, bread/gluten, meat, and dairy. i also drink green vegetable juice nightly and only eat brown rice (yeah sucks being asian and not being able to eat white rice hahahaha but its easy to get used to), etc etc. im sure youve heard this speech plenty of times and have seen it all over the internet, but really. youll be amazed at how capable our bodies are at healing, once we give it the nutrients it needs to fix and flourish.

    anywho, hang in there!!

    • thanks for your encouragement, you’re so sweet! : ) and thanks for your suggestion too.. i’ve tried the diet before, but i was in the midst of a spreading flare back then when i first stopped topical steroids. couldn’t see much of an effect.

      will try to eat healthier next time for general health wellness! i must say the diet is incredibly hard to follow through for extended period of times, especially when you eat out..

      i like how the brown rice taste! perhaps you’ll grow to like it too!

      good luck with your healing, it’s nice to know that you’re not suffering like i do!

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