i have forgot to mentioned that my ears are also having some kind of… life on its own.
its been a month already.. now both of my ears are swollen and oozing.
feels like i got a dozen ear piercings.
the ooze dries down to form thick scabs.. (which i quite enjoy peeling it off, to be honest..)
even the ear canal has liquid oozing out.
it’s faintly yellow.. seems to be different from the ooze that’s coming from my face.
my ear has alot of peeling too..
it amuses me.
THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME I’VE SEEN THIS.
8 years ago, my ear lobes started flaking for no apparent reason..
and from then onwards i get such ear “infections” quite often.
i always thought it’s an infection.. but it seems like it’s from the withdrawal.
i guess i was addicted and withdrawing from the hydrocortisone i used way back before i realize.
other than that…
i really can’t tell if i made any progress in this week.
don’t want to think about it.
there are new people coming to our google groups..
i’m happy because these people are finding support and relief through us..
it’s really a relief to find out why nothing seems to help with our worsening eczema.
on the other hand, i’m quite sad because more and more people are gonna suffer what i’m going through.
i really don’t want anyone more people to go through this hell..
but that will only happen when the dermatologist STOP giving steroids to innocent people.
and i will try my best to make that happen.
there’s really alot of bad in this world..
i know i can’t stop all of them, but i’ll still try within my own means.
skin is coming off me in all unimaginable places.
i hope i’ve seen it all now.
i don’t know how much worse can it go,
i hope this is the worst already.
btw, i have new thoughts about the skin that’s underneath those scabs..
i mean those with little vesiculation holes..
i think those are the bad skin that’s surfacing from deep under.
there are really no easier way to get my original skin back.
the bad skin will grow out, the skin will be raw, weeping, and everything nasty..
i can’t escape all this shit.
i am going to take a break from school.