I’m writing this on my phone.
it’s funny how I lose all motivation to write when I’m in front of my laptop.
after I wake up, I will be incredibly dry and uncomfortable after a night’s sleep since I don’t drink any water during that period of time.
I must Admit I’m not as dry as I once used to be. things did improve.
back to how I lose the motivation to write, even after I take a shower, my skin will still not be “moisturized” enough.
I believe it takes some time for the body to readjust itself, so from the time I wake up to the time I finally feel more comfortable, it takes about.. 6-8 hours.
and the time when I’m by my laptop is those 6-8 hours.
so the discomfort actually makes me lose motivation to write at all.
so why am I writing now?
because I have taken my second shower of the day and I feel so much better right now.
must have been the coupled action of the water I consumed and the water from the shower.
it helps me skin stay supple for a significantly longer period of time as compared to my first shower!
with that explained,
I’d like to talk a little more about my skin, in a more positive tone.
there used to be oozing wounds on my feet that started way back in June last year. after so long, the back of my feet has gotten a lot better. the wounds have disappeared and the skin there feels somewhat normal. it’s still red and thickened, but it’s not those vesiculated flesh anymore. it doesn’t scab anymore. it just keeps producing thick skin and scales off.
the skin on my ankle has improved too, no more scabs too. but the lines are really deep, like elephant skin. it also produce thick skin that will scale off. the thickened skin that is ready to scale off is tinted with a dark color.
the raised red patches that were spreading on my feet are no longer raised. they are still red, and seems to
be spreading slower now.
coming up to my calf, the bloody wound on my right calf is still there. it is healing, some part of it has diminished and stopped oozing, but the greater part of it is still happily scabbing/flaking/oozing. the other skin that is not affected by the bloody wound seems to be normal, however it seems like the integrity of the skin there is still not 100% back to normal. it is easily damaged. when it is damaged, it will grow a new layer of skin so that it will harden and fall off. from the thickness of the skin that falls off, I can tell that the skin there is still not normal yet. normal skin will shed a thin layer of skin that is very pliable and translucent. the skin that my calf shed is not that thin nor pliable. it feels like scales, but not as thick as those from my feet.
on my knees, skin is renewing. skin there is thick and seems a little swollen. left knee is not as bad, it produces small scales of skin. right knee is pretty much a bloody wound. produces thick skin, and it oozes quite a lot. it was previously a raised patch, it seems like its no longer raised for now, but it’s still oozing.
on my thigh, near the knee area, the skin there is constantly renewing. it is very rough to touch, almost like sandpaper because the skin is actually trying to fall off but part of it is still not ready yet. hate this feeling! again, left thigh doing better than right. at the back of my thigh, it was oozing a few months back. mainly the right thigh.. now it has stopped oozing. also changing skin constantly. smooth one day and rough the other. it actually grew a little onto my buttocks 😦 my buttocks used to be smooth like a baby..! not anymore! 😦 but I believe after the skin has renewed for good, my skin will be brand new like a baby’s!
torso wise.. I think it’s the best part for now, along with my lower back. there are some scaly patches near my upper torso where the rib cage is. it’s nothing too bothersome. after more scaling sessions I believe the skin there will be smooth again. upper chest is rather dry, it flakes. upper back (near shoulder blades) are flaking. the new skin is pink and fragile, and it flakes in another day’s time. I know I used steroids there before, so I shall be patient, it’s gotta do what it has to do. can’t stop it.
left shoulder is still a mess, but it has showed some improvements. it’s healing! man, it will be amazing if it can keep changing skin and NOT heal at all. it’s been almost.. 3 months I believe since it started to become a pain in my ass (by oozing). It doesnt ooze as long as I don’t agitate it. it used to ooze even if I dont scratch it. thank god!
bloody wound on right elbow is healing. it has flattened out (but it’s still slightly raised) and no longer ooze as much. the more badly afflicted area still scabs once in a while and fall off to reveal holey flesh. right inner arm is good. left inner arm is getting better, significant improvement since a few months ago. still changing skin.
left hand has improved a lot. the skin used to be more elephanty there.. both hands still red. the wrist area has improved a lot too, doesn’t crack as much. after my second shower they look like its normal skin. still changing skin, it produces scales that fall off in about 3-4 days time. right now my left index finger is the worst finger on my left hand. and all 5 fingers have recessed cuticle. my right hand has 3 recessed cuticle fingers. one raised patch on the side of my palm, crossing into my palm. it’s red and raised and scales and cracks. I know what to expect.
my neck has been good, until a few days ago when I rubbed it too excessively in my sleep, causing it to weep, and then for the next few days the skin there dried up and hardened and scaled.. its still scaling as of now but I think it will be fine in another few days time. back of neck still dry and flakes.
ears still scales and flake too! scalp is dry too, I think there are quite a lot of small scabs on my scalp. too much scratching?
forehead is much better than before. no more oozing wound there. skin that falls off is scale like instead of the previous thick and moist skin. eyes are still a little swollen, can’t open it up 100% but much better than before. cheeks are the worst area for now because of the oozing wound. holy shit man, who would have expected these wounds to stay for so long? it’s been like 2 months already. but I believe it’s healing. face still red, though not as red as before. lips area is fragile. still peels. skin renewal!
I think I have covered all I can.
I still recall those days before I stopped steroid creams. my dry skin got progressively worse, no amount of QV cream can moisturize my skin. I am oily because I slather so much onto myself, covering every part of my skin. it’s so uncomfortable and inconvenient. after I stopped steroids, the dryness escalated. no matter how much Vaseline I apply, I still feel scaly and rough. even after trying cetaphil, which everyone said it was good, I am still feeling like a reptile.
but I’m past that for now. 🙂
time to go to bed and rest my eyes!
want to take a moment to thank god for holding on to me in my darkest moments. thank him for guiding Angels to me.
hang in there my fellow skin friends!