June has been a month that showed lots of visible improvements.
the persistent “bloody wounds” on my face, shoulder, elbow, knee and calf have healed up quite a lot, they are now visibly gone, but there is still something going on under the skin that will require some more time before it becomes normal. im really glad those wounds finally healed up (visually, at the very least). gone are those days when I wake up to yellow crust on my skin.
it’s not that my skin did not improve all this while before June.. it’s just that those improvements aren’t very visible. some changes are hard to observe at all.. the healing of these wounds is a clear sign that I’m getting better. well, it’s time to start getting better I guess, after all it’s been a whopping 7-8 months since the wounds started developing. you can never imagine how those days were like for me..
2 months ago I reported some oozing on the side of my calves which required me to bandage my legs before bed time (so as to not stain my bed sheets), it is also healing up. 🙂 I believe my calves will be smooth and healed by the end of July.
is my skin still red? yes. but upon waking up from my sleep, my skin is quite fair for a while, before the blood gets pumped heavily into my skin. so I think my skin is starting to get fair again. 🙂 keeping my fingers crossed.
my hands and feet are having some on going inflammation (they itch and flake). the back of my hands are much better than before, the lines on my skin isn’t as deep set as before (not so elephanty anymore) but it still appears dry. skin still peels off every day. some fingers are more inflamed than others.. my left index finger has improved a little, it’s still very swollen but no longer ooze as much.
my knuckles are quite swollen too, some of them hurt a lot if I touch it. part of my palm and sole are acting weird too. they are red and itches sometimes. it flakes thick skin too.
right now I’m waiting for the dry spots (arm and thigh) to heal. those places are dry and scaly, no matter how much cream I apply. guess its part of the skin renewal!
sudden panic attacks makes me perspire almost immediately and I will start to itch.. that feels really uncomfortable, luckily it only happens under some circumstances.
really glad with my progress.. it’s been a long journey.
I’ll talk a little about my thoughts on ciclosporine, since quite a lot of you have suggested that to me. in fact I did contemplate Starting on it.. but do I really want to introduce a drug that will burden my liver and kidney into my system right now? I know that it’s an immunosuppressant, so it basically suppress the inflammation by suppressing the body’s immune system. how long will I need to suppress it? one or two years, or maybe longer? doesn’t that make me reliant on another drug? I did read about people who experience a rebound after stopping ciclosporin. im not impressed. lastly, it requires a doctor’s prescription and regular blood checks to ensure liver and kidney health. if you don’t already know, the last person I want to see in my current state is a doctor. im scared of them to no ends, because they will try to push me back into the arms of steroids. they are surely disapproving of what I’m doing right now.. I really don’t need someone to tell me that what I’m doing is wrong, because I know I’m doing it right. so sick of explaining to the doctor and trying to make them understand my plight. it feels like an argument between the doc and I.. so, no thanks. I don’t think I’ll start on ciclosporin.