23 months

i feel like i’ve just updated this place not too long ago..!

i hope my previous post have shed some light and hope to all those warriors who are still fighting on!

my skin is still healing, still taking time to get back to factory condition but it’s definitely getting there. and now that it’s so much better than before (in terms of integrity, moisture level and color), each day gets increasingly easier to get by.

the worst is really over!

these days i’m really busy with school work, and thank goodness for manageable skin! school is pretty damn demanding, and my favourite part of school right now is skipping classes. : P

after leading a sedentary lifestyle for almost 2 years, i’m sad to say i’ve accumulated so much fats in me, it’s now showing on my chubby cheeks and flabby thighs. if i can cut myself open, i’m sure my organs are being wrapped by fats, PLENTY OF FATS.

i didn’t mind getting those fats, because during my TSW journey, there was a period of time when i kept losing weight despite eating like a hippo. i looked so skinny and unhealthy, it was so scary! but i’m a little health conscious right now, i tell myself i need to start exercising.

all i did was to think of exercising instead of really exercising. URGH, i should really get my fats moving. you won’t believe me if i tell you i pant just by walking up a short flight of stairs, that is how much fats i have in me.

going to give myself 3 months to lose some fats. wouldn’t want to do it so drastically by starving myself and end up with saggy skin and messed up metabolism. in actual fact, i just cannot starve myself! i’ll end up being distracted and thinking about food all the time.

things are just going to get better!

current skin woes are dry and red areas on my fingers, my skin all over my body is still healing from steroid damage – it’s still patchy, red and dry, but a layer of vaseline cream (i’m curently using vaseline intensive rescure repairing moisture body lotion. phew, that’s a mouthful!) will make it feel so much better. discolouration is still a problem, but i’m wearing long sleeves and pants anyway, so it’s not a big deal. last month, my lips area started to get red and dry, it peels and whatsoever, and now it’s getting better again.

while some people get hormonal acne, i’m getting hormonal red and sensitive skin. i realize those bumps on my face are actually correlated to the time of the month. could have covered them up with some make up, provided i exfoliate them first. it irks me that the make up actually accentuates dry skin. so i ended up not applying make up at all! afterall, there wasn’t any good reason for me to wear make up to school (if you don’t already know, i’m in the school of engineering.)

my hair is definitely growing back, really quickly. not just on my head and my eyebrows.. the hair on my arms and legs is getting ridiculous. but something about them did change, they are so much finer these days. but also, much longer. i can’t stand it!!!

not only am i getting fat, i’m also getting hairy! that’s not aesthetically pleasing in my eyes! am i turning into a hamster..?

that would be me in another 2 years if i continue this sedentary lifestyle.
the hamster in the photo is my little angel. he’s in heaven right now, but he still puts a smile on my face every now and then.

have faith and don’t stop believing that you will heal one day.
god bless.

5 thoughts on “23 months

  1. Hi there. Thanks for your blog, Juliana. I can’t believe what you have gone through. The pictures you have posted too are really helpful. You are an amazing woman to have done this. Almost two years! That’s a very long time… best wishes to you. Elaine x

  2. Hello, I was wondering how much weight you lost during TSW. I lost ten pounds since my first steroid use a year ago. My doctor diagnosed me with TSW but is concerned about my weight loss. He doesn’t associate it with TSW. My blood tests came back normal.

    • hi aw, i lost about.. 5-6kg during TSW. but i’ve gained them all back now!

      hmm i am not sure if it’s directly related to TSW but it occurred during my TSW, plus i was eating like a monster yet losing weight. there must be something weird going on.

      • Hi Juliana, I told Dr. Rappaport that you had lost weight as well, and asked him if our weight loss could be due to TSW. He said in your case the weight loss was due to edema, which I am not experiencing. My body is slowly fattening back up, though :]

      • hello aw! did he mean that my weight loss was due to the loss of water after edema goes away? it doesn’t make sense to me because my skin was swollen all over during TSW. how can i possibly gain water but lose weight? muscle mass maybe?

        good to hear that you’re gaining some weight back! 😉

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