(rss) 29 august

selfportrait

now this is a true self portrait!

a thought suddenly hit me just now. it goes something like this..

throughout life we will face many difficulties and hardships, some feels like punishments for something we have not done. the question I asked (for a very time) back then was “why me? what did I do to deserve this?”.

you know what it feels like? it feels like trekking a mountain. the journey is hell of a long and tortuous, I didn’t know how far do I have left.. i also do not know what’s at the peak of the mountain (if I do get there at all). but when I finally made it to the peak, everything suddenly became clear to me.. everything happened so that it will lead me to a better place. and looking at what I have right now, I most definitely did not expect my reward to be SO PRECIOUS when I was still in the midst of TSW. damn, I feel like I just stroke the lottery.. life’s lottery!

it’s easy to fall prey to the negativity that TSW brings about because I was surrounded by nothing but some filthy, dark and muddy valleys.. everything around me is just so dead. slowly but surely, with a little progress each day, it has accumulated into a huge progress over 2 odd years..

everything happens for a reason. for me, TSW was merely setting the stage for bigger and more wonderful things to happen in my life. it made me rethink life, re-prioritize what’s truly important, and eventually make room in me to receive again.

and because I have received, I can now give. to all the skin warriors who’re still in that valley of death/road to mordor, you will be rewarded with something so many magnitudes greater than you can ever imagine.

now I have found the answer to my question. I hope you will find yours soon.

stay strong, and god bless.

10 thoughts on “(rss) 29 august

  1. Amen to that! TSW “reboots” your perspective on life… The simple pleasures of life such as helping others in need or simply eating with your family on an outing is often overlooked as bothersome as we want to do our own things so we dont put them on the priority list… But during this period, family is the only thing we can cling on to and realized that they are the real ones looking out for us… No amount of money and fortune will do the same for you and they cannot buy the simple joy that you experience after TSW… To be honest, rich people have more problems than poor people…

    TSW is temporary, but what you gained from it lasts until the day you die… It makes you a better person inside and outside and we learn not to judge a book by its cover…

    On another note, new sketch artist aspirer eh? Haha

    • 😉 i can be super poor but i’ll still die happy! hahaah ok this is a little too extreme..

      agree with you on making us a better person inside and outside. definitely more attuned to my insides as compared to before.. i’m now more sensitive to other’s feelings too!

      i was just doodling!

  2. So profound and well written Juliana. At ten months and just coming out of a two week flare, your words are quite timely for me. Thanks so much for sharing both the storms and the sunshine with all of us. I doubt you realize just how deep and how far wide your commitment to this blog has reached.
    Hugs.
    Cory Zyromsky
    Thunder Bay, Canada

    • cory, thanks for leaving such a sweet comment to let me know you appreciate. you are most welcome!!!

      i hope i can continue to bring more sunshine to you all now that i’m so much better.😉 your comment motivates me to keep writing and sharing. thank you so much.

      stay strong! 10 months down, a few more months to go!

      BIG hug back to you.😀

  3. Hi Juliana, a fellow TSW sufferer from Singapore here.. Well I’m actually just starting my cold turkey and your blog has given me plenty of encouragement and helped me prepare for what is about to come. Do you know of any doctors who actually believe in TSW and are able to provide medical support when needed? I would hate to visit polyclinics/NSC and have steroids pushed on me when I really need medical help.

    • hello! sorry to hear bout you starting on the withdrawal journey too. there is a doc who is somewhat supportive of TSW.. she’s in a clinic in tanglin halt, I think the clinic is called health point, her name is dr sarani. I think you can google their number out and search that place on your own right?

  4. Hi Juliana! 3 1/2 weeks ago I came across itsan.com and it was an answer to my prayers on why my Excema and now red face kept getting worse! I read and read and saw your post and was in complete shock and disbelief! I then withdrew from steroids completely and didn’t realize how going “cold turkey” was going to hit me that hard! Oh my….I went to the doc and he diagnosed me with steroid induced rosacea. For years I was using steroids on my face and around neck in small amounts, but….never did I understand the full extent of the addiction and now paying for it😦

    Your blog has really motivated me to continue to move forward and bite the bullet..even though its so painful…so painful. Thank you for sharing your story, because it really gives people like me “hope” that there is light at the end of the tunnel…and that I can really do this…:). Cheers to being healed and healing!

  5. Thanks for sharing such deep perspective Juliana. You are wise in your younger years and tsw certainly contributed to that! You are a celebrity in the ITSAN circle and many love to hear from you. We have a new forum with a spot for the vets of tsw to encourage others. Would you do us the honor and post there? It would be greatly appreciated friend! xxxx Here is a link to it:
    http://forum.itsan.org/index.php?action=forum

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