[rss] 8 January 2013

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these were from a few days ago. the story goes like this. 2 best friends decided to go for another photoshoot because one of them will be out of town for at least half a year. gotta do some wild things while we’re still young! this time we are the forest fairy.

we are both the model and the photographer ๐Ÿ˜› the remote shutter trigger and the tripod is definitely a loner’s best friend. hahaha! thankfully no one saw how funny and awkward it was when we were setting up the camera.

maybe I should show you all.
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ever seen a tripod stretch out thissssss widely? HAHAHA.. I went all out when I was extending the tripod, only to realize it’s too long. instead of retracting it I made it into a spider with 3 legs.

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after spending the entire afternoon in the sun we both suffered a minor heat stroke, but nothing in life comes free! had a sumptuous Korean dinner that night with another of my gf. (no photos of the 3 of us in my phone though)

anyway the photos I’m sharing is not the point. I suddenly have something I want to share with you guys, I thought I’d throw in some salt and pepper too. the meat is this: you can’t control what’s happening around you – your environment, your skin, and many other things in life. however, the one thing you have complete control of is your thoughts.

looking back, I used to keep telling myself “I’ll be happy once my skin is healed”. if I can travel back in time, I’ll tell myself “you idiot! why wait till then? make yourself happy now!”. it’s the thoughts that made me unhappy.

I only learnt that far along the way. I wish I realized that earlier, that would have saved me from a lot of misery. and this is why even when I have minor flares now, it can’t stop me from being happy. if I were to wait till my skin to be completely healed, does it mean I’ll be sad for another few more years!? hell no! my skin is acting up a little bit lately, on the day of the photoshoot, my mom told me “I can see the rashes on your legs”. for her to see it, it must be quite sizeable and red. am I going to cancel the shoot? am I going to let my skin stop me from enjoying myself? NO. not anymore. it used to get the better of me, but not anymore.

I’ll be happy because I choose to be happy. I actively do things to make myself feel better. It’s a conscious decision to think differently. once my mentality changed, things seemingly got better. the happy times became longer, the sad times got shorter.

so this is the little nugget that I want to share for today.

don’t be like me. I’m the best negative example out here. ๐Ÿ˜‰ take control of your thinking, change the way you think, make yourself feel good.

“my skin will heal up anyway, no matter how long it takes. let me see what are the things I’ve gained.. ah, I am more grateful than I used to be! and..”

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14 thoughts on “[rss] 8 January 2013

  1. So glad you are doing so well! I think the negative thoughts are impossible to ignore in the beginning of this process of TSW though…it is a sort of mourning process in retrospect. I still flare but the pain is nothing compared to the first 6 months…if someone told me to just try to think more positive during that time, I would have said it’s not possible. I think we all have to find our way to thinking more positive eventually and it will vary depending on the severity of suffering. Enjoy your healing! You have been down a long road and deserve all the happiness you have! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • thanks tracy!!! i agree with you. it actually follows the 5 stages of grief. what’s important is to get a grip of ourselves after we have come to accept the condition. from there on we have more control and can make ourselves feel better. when i look back, it felt as if i had to let myself go all the way to the rock bottom. and it’s only then where i know i can’t go any lower, i start climbing up again. ๐Ÿ™‚ i’m glad to hear that you are doing much better now! the worst does give us perspective, doesn’t it?

      i’m definitely enjoying my times now even as i’m still healing (in my opinion)! hehehe! stay strong my dear.

      xoxo

  2. i try to tell myself tha atimes…but fir me no matter how much u try to convice myself that i deserve happines…once public interaction or a reflection kills that vibe…we all know that feeling when we r talking to people and its like they are not even listening all they are focused on is your skin…like wtf u dint have to keep on looking.

    • it’s okay seyi, just let the bad emotions come and pass through you. don’t resist it. we only feel bad because we think people care, but in actual fact the only person who really care about how we look is ourselves. but that’s completely normal. it’s not easy to be happy during difficult times, it takes a lot of effort and strength!

  3. Looks like you had loads of fun! I can’t tell you how much I miss Korean food >_<. I wish I could be positive and do everything I want to do but because my TSW is mainly on my face, I just…. can't. Maybe in a few more months. Fingers crossed.

    • hey mishal!

      yes i had loads of fun! ๐Ÿ˜€ now that you miss korean food so much, it’ll taste a hundred times better when you get to eat it again finally!

      i understand how our face matter to us. it’s difficult to get over that thought.. but if one is able to come to terms with it, it will really get rid of a lot of unhappiness! you’ll get better in time to come ๐Ÿ˜‰ stay strong!

  4. The tripod outstretched to that length really cracks me up, its as thou you girls are setting up a base or something claiming it your area ~

  5. Hi! I’ve been keeping up with your blog for a while now, and I am now one year through. I just wanted to say thanks for taking the time to post this blog, it’s definitely been super helpful in me getting through this! ๐Ÿ™‚ And also the whole concept about just being happy couldn’t be more true, I wish I would of gotten that in my head sooner, because at the end of the day your friends and family will always be there, no matter how you look or feel.

    • hey cody! thanks for the heads up, really appreciate it! ;D

      i hope your skin is doing much better than it was a year ago! don’t lose hope, and don’t let the positivity leave you for too long!

      stay strong!

      • Thank you! ๐Ÿ™‚ I always try my best to stay positive, im past the point of depression and never let those hopeless thoughts dwell in my mind. I wish you the best of health as well, it’s awesome to see that you’re now able to get out more and live life as it should be lived. Btw what was the Facebook page you run called?

      • hey cody, i’m glad to know you’re past the depression stage! it takes plenty of effort to stay positive, but please don’t stop trying ๐Ÿ™‚

        you might have mistaken me with someone else because i don’t run any facebook pages!

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