month 34

17 jan 2014

i still can’t believe how fast time has slipped through my fingers ever since i gone back to normal functioning.

for the past week i’ve seen my skin slowly healing up.
dry spots are still dry, rashy spots get itchy when dry.:/

the rashes are taking time to run its course.
it’s slowly turning from red to brown. 😀
doesn’t matter if it leaves pigmentation on my skin, because i know very well that those will go with time.

skin was particularly angry a week ago,
but i can see it dying down significantly.

other than that..
little rashes on my face and neck are gone now.
i’m just dealing with rashes on my elbow flexures, part of my abdomen, my thigh, calf and feet for now.


21 jan 2014

holy cow. i think it’s official: i’m having a cycle.

it’s the usual spots: arm folds, abdomen, thighs, calf, feet.
the rashes on my arms and thighs seems particularly angry though.
the rashes are raised and rough!
it’s so weird that my skin is smooth and moisturized on some parts, but absolutely dry around the rashes.

but fret not, dr fukaya has mentioned that the distinction between TSW and atopic dermatitis is blurry.
it could be my original eczema, it can also be the steroid damaged skin barrier recovering.
no matter which is it, i know that it’ll both go away with time.

it’s been a long time since i saw so many reddish spots on myself.
it looks like how my eczema was before i stopped steroids.
it’s a little worrying, but i tell myself it’s not permanent.


27 jan 2014

previously raised rashes seems to be flattening out once more.

they do appear darker than normal skin, like a mixture of brown and maroon.
rashy parts are particularly dry.
some rashes scales, some flakes.

2 weeks ago i would sleep lightly and wake up around 3/4am scratching because i tend to get itchy around that time.
HMMMM. this is very suspicious, because the time is rather constant each day.
but the itchy episodes have since decreased in frequency, and i’m getting better sleep these days again.


4 feb 2014

hahah i just realize it’s pointless to note down my little ups and downs for now,
the rashes are in a cycle (some of you may call it a flare).
it’s angry for a day, which itches and irritates me, but it feels so orgasmic when i scratch them..
and then it’ll dry out over the next 2 days, and shed the next, and stay calm for another day or two until the cycle repeats.

we’ll see how things goes!

things could have been compounded by my period,
i can see such a stark difference within 2 days after my period came, so..
it’s the same old story over and over again.

i don’t want to scare you guys but my skin is looking a little like leopard skin right now.
hahaha, that’s just how my skin looks before i stopped steroids!
i really do have quite a lot of rashes all over my body,
but please fret not.
it never seem worse than when i was on steroids.


9 feb 2014

skin appears to be more calm than angry.
1 itchy day (red and raised rashes), 3-4 relatively calmer days (brown and flat rashes).
the cycle is hard to miss.

i’ve observed 3 rashes for a month.
they start out as the red and raised type,
they scaled (the skin comes off in relatively large chunks like a scale instead of tiny fragments), i see shiny skin for a day, and then over the next few days it will prepare to scale again.
it repeats until the rash turns slightly brownish and flattens out.
the appearance of lines on my skin are more obvious there.

i think pigmentation is something that i shouldn’t worry about at all,
even though the sight of the brown spots aren’t very pleasing to me,
i would choose pigmentation over red rashes anytime!!!

i’d also like to report weird phenomenas.
1) my ears were peeling just last week. thin skin flakes that forms on my ear lobe and peels off every few days. ear lobes aren’t itchy but somewhere near my helix piercing it itches, and it makes me excited when the skin peels off in one big piece there. looks like a dried piece of skin that’s all. doesn’t look like scabs or anything i saw during my worst TSW days.
2) hair fall is 0_0 once again. and it’s mostly the really fine hair that’s falling off. maybe it’s just my shedding season.
3) weird sleeping patterns lately. can’t sleep at night, can’t sleep in the day too. have been running on 4-5 hours of sleep a day for the past few days.
4) white heads between my brows? it could mean my skin is more dehydrated than usual.


11 feb 2014

last update before i post this entry up.

experimented on myself again.
when my skin started to turn back a month ago, it coincided with me making some slight changes to my diet – introducing a little more carbs into my diet.
just thought that it could be the reason to the worsening skin, so i tried to cut it out again.
while i was cutting out unhealthy carbs, skin continue to go through tiny cycles.
after i reintroduced them, my skin also went through tiny cycles, but the skin did not worsen significantly during this period of time.

a few conclusions:
1) food is not what’s triggering my skin issues.
2) carbs does not worsen my skin. i also ate peanuts (which i was tested mildly allergic to), and it did not worsen the rashes.
3) skin improved slowly over time irregardless of what i ate.

skin also started feeling better after my period.
doesn’t feel as dry anymore!!!

i was looking through the photos i took over the month,
decided to share a handful of them.
i don’t know if you all will actually want to see them because they aren’t photos of me with good skin for now. it’s actually rashes that resembles what i had prior to stopping steroids.

see for yourself.
don’t feel discouraged or whatsoever, i friggin used steroids all over my  body to treat these rashes in the past. they’re likw my old friends.

this particular night was a very itchy night.
the rashes were raised, warm to touch, and fucking itchy.
damn ittttttttt.

still slightly raised, but it’s receding into bumpy skin.

flat skin for now. it looks dry because i got lazy and didn’t moisturize my skin today as my skin felt smooth enough to me.
at least it’s not itchy anymore!!!

these are the 3 rashes that i have been observing.
they were super raised at the start, can’t really tell from the photo.
imagine 3 mosquito bites.

notice how they sort of spreaded out?
they’re not red anymore. it’s more brownish in real life.

the skin here is slightly shiny.
atrophied skin is described to be thin and shiny looking.
i think this is atrophied skin.

some pink rashes that appeared on my left arm.
nothing too serious because they left within a few days.
pink is better than red as they seem to heal faster (and not leave pigmentation)

this is my right knee/thigh area.
this was probably my worse night this month.
in real life it was raised and red.
so horrific when i run my hand over my thigh because i can feel every bump and raised skin.

but by now those previously raised skin are all flat and smoother.

yeap. like i said i do have rashes all over my body.
i wasn’t exaggerating.
this is an old spot though, as a kid i used to have rashes on the folds on my limbs.

this month’s update came in a little later.
but better late than never!


8 thoughts on “month 34

  1. Dear Juliana,

    I believe that food is still one if the culprits for your condition. You may say its topical steroid withdrawal but it doesn’t change the fact it’s eczema. Certain foods do worsen eczema like potatoes and peanuts. However , just refraining from them alone is not enough for healing, it does however reduce the redness and the itch. I’m helping patients every week to get back on their feet after they take control of their diets. I’m in a position to comment because I had it like you. In addition, I had it, recovered and then had it again. But if you want to insist that TSW and eczema are two different animals and are happy with your condition, then I wish you all the best. If not, I believe I have something that you may see real results with.

    • hey jimmy,

      thanks for your comment. i do agree with you that food might be once of the culprits for my condition. that’s why i took the chance to experiment with it.

      it is eczema, if you define eczema as a inflammation of the skin. but are you referring to atopic eczema? the term eczema alone does not entail the cause of said inflammation. i assume you are saying that food is still the culprit of my atopic eczema. however, even after eating said allergenic food, my skin did not get more itchy. when i stop it, it didn’t get any less itchy. what i’m saying is that the food doesn’t seem to be a factor causing my current episode of rashes.

      i know where you’re coming from since you have personally experienced the healing power by following a strict diet. that may be because you really are sensitive to certain foods. but not everyone is like you. thank you so much for disseminating helpful information!

      you might have mistaken me. i am merely suggesting that what i’m experiencing now is not atopic eczema, but eczema arising from steroid damaged skin. the cause of the inflammation is what i’m trying to distinguish, not the symptoms, since both shares the same symptom.

      hope this clarifies my entry and thoughts. 😉

      • I see. To be frank, I’m very curious about where your eczema started. You’re saying your eczema is cos of the steroids withdrawal? Then why were you using the steroid creams for in the first place?
        I believe I have come across a really powerful product that you will see benefits for. I have tested the product, and many have tested it. It is deer placenta, but however not all are made the same. The downside is that they are expensive but there is near guarantee improvement if you can just try the standard 2 bottles. Even if you are mildly interested or just want to discuss about eczema condition I urge you to contact me at 81003255. I’m not medically affiliated, but just a kindred soul who can better relate to what you’re going through.

      • hey jimmy, thanks for the recommendation. i know you’re just trying to spread the word about products that are helpful to you. i know you want to help more people.

        i don’t know the exact reason that caused my original eczema when i was a kid. all i can say is that the current skin inflammation i have is probably not due to the same cause. if i had not used topical steroids at all, then i can pretty much say that the cause of my current eczema is most likely due to food or environmental allergens. but i have a variable here which i cannot dispel, and it seems more likely that it’s the former instead of the latter.

        i hope you can see the logic behind my thinking.

        childhood eczema grows out most of the time. it is not unusual for people to outgrow their food and environmental allergies as time goes by. that’s why i’m more inclined to think that what’s causing my eczema now is not what caused my eczema when i was a kid.

        if you were to sponsor me, maybe i don’t mind trying the product. 😉 i’m sure everyone else who visit my blog is able to relate to what i’m going through, since we’re all in the same boat. but do keep in mind that not everyone has the financial support that you have to try certain products. a lot of people who are already unable to work due to TSW are in an even worse financial situation. it will be a burden to them.

  2. Hey Juliana,

    Sorry you cycled again but it seems to be the case for many tswers. I know one who ended up going on oral prednisone and I sure hope that does not start it all up again. EEK….My thoughts are that if I can endure 42 months of it now even though I’m about 90 per cent healed, I can live with some shorter cycles of this beast rather than going back to roids. Good to see you pressing on regardless as you have been through a lot at your young age. God bless…xo

    • hey joey!

      it’s alright, i know very well that the skin takes a long time to heal. now it just looks like eczema which dr fukaya has mentioned in his book before. after TSW, the skin remains sensitive for a while until it fully heals! and no, i’m not going to on on oral steroids. hahahaha no way.

      thanks for your encouragement! stay strong joey! 😉

      god bless you too!

  3. Hi juliana
    Im currently undergoing tsw wif e help of tcm. However the red rashes I have all over my abdomen and back are now subsiding into ugly scaly big itchy brown rashy patches. Is this normal? Im beginning to feel like it wil never go away. Its already been 2 weeks since they turned brown!! As for my thighs it is jist red bumps all over. Just feel so depressed looking at my body covered 80 oercent in rashes in the mirror

    • hey hueysun,

      i would think it’s the normal course of the progression of a rash.
      from red, they’ll subside into a brownish patch, which will eventually disappear over time.

      don’t be discouraged!
      patience is a virtue 🙂 and i assure you they’ll go away.

      if it makes you depressed to look at your body, i can only advise against looking at your body in the mirror for now. it will take time for the skin to heal, and it most certainly can make you feel better by not looking at it and reminding yourself of how slow the progress is. i avoided all mirrors at home as though they would turn me into stone if i looked into it! hahaha!

      good luck and stay strong!

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