something just spurred an idea in me, i need to get it out quick.
i’ve just observed hate from one of our fellow skin friends.
i’m using the term “skin friends” very loosely these days,
it no longer means people i actually talked to via email/comments/forum threads,
i just mean the entire TSW population in general.
in my eyes, we’re all one big family since we’re going through the same thing.
therefore, i think we’re all skin friends.
sure, we all hate steroids.
we all hate the dermatologist who prescribed us that very first tube of innocent looking steroids, and all the subsequent tubes (or tubs, in my case) that they push to us without questioning our steroid usage history, without giving a damn about how we’re using it, how frequent do we use it, how much are we using, and for landing us in hell when it is their fault for not administering it properly, or warning us appropriately about proper steroid usage, or even acknowledging the truth about steroid addiction and withdrawal.
i remember how angry i was at the beginning.
i can think of a thousand and one ways to torture a derm with the very own miracle drug that they prescribe so blindly.
whenever i speak of derms, only vulgarities would spew out of me.
hatred and blame was all i felt,
for i felt so helpless in the situation that i was in,
thinking that i did nothing to deserve what i’m going through right now.
why am i paying the price for their mistake?
wth, hatred might be an understatement.
i wished for all the derms who have diagnosed me in the past to burn in hell.
i wished for all the derms who have seen me WHILE i was going through TSW, and denying my claims, and PUSHING MORE STEROIDS TO ME to be burnt in the steroid hell.
seriously, hell has a place dedicated to them.
swimming pool filled with the strongest steroid lotions,
shower head that showers them with more steroids,
they can drink and eat steroids for all they like.
if such a thing exist, i wish the entire atmosphere is filled with steroid gas.
i want them to be encased in corticosteroids 24/7 for at least a good 5 years,
and then i’ll remove all traces of steroids and i’ll love to see what happens next.
welcome to hell.
but those angry moments have passed.
maybe because i’ve found my answer to that question that i asked.
i’m paying the price for their mistake because there is something for me to learn out of this.
it is due to their mistakes that i am able to learn.
not just to learn more about our skin, the science behind it, or all the technical stuff.
what i treasure more is the way it changed me mentally into a better person.
who can say no to a more resilient brain, a more positive mindset, a more motivated self, and a generally happier me?
all these are learnt through my TSW experience.
i think a person who remains hateful for a good 8 years after TSW is a fool,
because he has clearly not learnt anything out of the plight that he was in.
thankfully, i’m no fool.
life gives us difficulties and obstacles so that we can learn how to overcome them.
we always learn the most during the most difficult times.
if one doesn’t learn, then all those moments are nothing but a waste,
and he will most likely notice the problems of the same nature keeps repeating itself throughout his life.
because a problem is only a problem if one fails to solve it.
solve it now, and it will never be a problem anymore since you can easily overcome it in the future should it arise.
one can spend their life complaining and hating all the things that happened to them,
one can also ask themselves what can they do to set things right.
i think each and everyone of us have equal chances to grow,
but not all can see that lesson behind all of the unfortunate events.
god is fair, i guess.
because without such people, i will never know how much more i have in me as compared to others.
instead of asking “why are things happening to me?”,
why not ask “what are the things that i can get out of this?”.
constant hating and complaining gets you nowhere, and gets nothing done other than to tell the world the state of your mind.
but if you were to change that into a motivation to start making things better, then it’s a different story altogether.
my thought of the day.