[brainfart] reliving the days when i refuse to meet people

before i go any further, i’d like to assure you that my skin is still fine and alright.
i just didn’t feel like meeting people – especially my relatives.

this feel a lot like when i was still in the bad stages of my TSW.
i recall shying away from people at all costs, locking myself in my room whenever someone comes up, rejecting all requests to meet me outside (wtf are you crazy for asking me out in this state!?)

and then it reminded me why i didn’t want to see anyone in the first place,
because i really just didn’t want to make futile explanations to people when they won’t accept it at the end of the day.
worst of all, trying to push me back to the conventional treatment of skin dermatitis, which would mean steroids.

it’s a different context for me right now though, even though it still involves me going against the conventional flow, which is why it’s getting on my nerves whenever i do meet relatives, because they’ll always ask questions that makes me feel like i’m being judged for doing something wrong (in their books).

i’m not doing something wrong.
i’m just doing something DIFFERENT.
something that they can’t understand (yet), but i’ll show it to them once i have some results,
just like how i was able to convince my family that TSW is real by healing with no medical intervention.

surprisingly, i always thought that i never bothered to explain myself about TSW in the past because i didn’t have the energy and effort to do so, turns out.. i really just can’t be friggin’ bothered to waste another breath on them.

to those of you who’re still feeling the pinch by people who don’t understand TSW, i feel you.
but trust me, it feels really good when you prove them otherwise 😉

dontstopbelieving.jpg 20140327-122740.jpg

i’m here to remind you what i constantly remind myself – don’t ever stop believing.
you may be having a bad time right now, a rough night, a sleepless night, the going gets tough, the tough will get going soon.

that’s me from a few days ago btw, you’ll be on the top of the TSW mountain soon, together with me, and all the others who have made it past that hell and is living a life again.



p.s. taking a break from scientific sunday for today, i feel utterly exhausted this week. been sleeping so much today 😀 hope everyone’s having a good weekend!


4 thoughts on “[brainfart] reliving the days when i refuse to meet people

  1. Hi Juliana

    I couldn’t be more happy to find your blog!!
    My biggest complex since I was a little girl…was having eczema. I have been picked on, teased through out my primary school. Then I met topical steroid when I was a pre teen. Since then, for about 20 years, I have been on it. It used to be on my face only, very little amount (5g tube would last about 6 months). It used to be still controllable eczema with topical steroid…until last year. I gave birth to my third child in Nov. 2012, by following summer, it got really bad. No matter what I did, nothing was able to make it better. I knew about TSW for a long time actually. I have actually tried three times and every time, I gave up.
    My eczema is still there actually spreading more. I have been really thinking of stopping steroid for good. By reading your site, you really gave me the hope to see my bright future as a healthy mom.
    I know how hard it is physically and mentally to go through TSW, but I have made my decision. No matter how bad it gets, I will keep believing like you do.

    Thank you very much, Juliana.

    • you’re most welcome! i’m glad you decided to stop steroids once and for all. it must be more difficult for you as you are a mother and have to take care of 3 little kids. be mentally prepared that your skin will get unbelievably bad. like out of the word kind of bad.

      good luck and stay strong!


  2. ๋Juliana

    I’m really glad that i found your blog today. I feel like crap for a long time due to TSW. It feel like it destroys my life emotionally and physically. I feel like i’m not alone anymore because there are someone like you who totally understand what i’m going through (TSW). You are such an inspiring and understanding person. I will not give up, stay strong and keep my head up high no matter what. i will fight until i’m on the top of the TSW mountain with you.

    Thank you so much

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