[brain fart] where did june go to

i thought june just started a while ago,
i didn’t realize how quickly time flew and it’s already almost the end of the month by now.
holy crap.

i totally forgot to update last week,
and i hate to forget because i want you guys to know that i’m still alive and kicking.

i’ve received emails asking about my skin,
it may alarm some of you that after 3 years of TSW, i still have some minor flares (which i don’t entirely enjoy calling flares, because the magnitude is in the micro scale compared to the actual flare i had 2 years ago) some times, and my skin is generally less stable as it used to be a year ago.

maybe, i just broke out of a 1 year break?
the thing is i can only tell you what my exact experience in retrospect.
whatever state my skin is in right now is not the final state.

i don’t like to announce how exactly my skin is doing especially when it’s less optimal than i expected because it usually causes nothing more than stress and worry,
and it’s worse for me because not only does it make me feel low, i’m afraid it’ll waver whatever faith you have in TSW.

even though i know that whatever i’m experiencing now is just a phase,
a transition period,
i don’t want to jeopardize what all of you are feeling.

SO, to anyone who felt more negative after hearing about my recent minor flare ups (NOTE: some rashy and dry skin on certain places of my body), may i remind you that it’s not permanent. and i’ve applied steroids for way too long, whatever damage dealt is more than what i initially expected.

other than that..
i’m actually feeling f-ing fine and good.
once i adjust my frame of reference and compare everything to the worst possible stage that i was once in, everything pales in comparison.

antisteroid juliana

took this yesterday.

i won’t stop believing,
and i wish the same for you.
it’ll happen when it happen.

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16 thoughts on “[brain fart] where did june go to

  1. Juliana, your blog is amazing and I am happy to see that you healed. Your skin is beautiful. I am 3.5 months off steroids and I am continuing to get flare ups. My neck is the worst part of my body, heavily red and oozing. Thank you and good luck! Sona.

    • hey there sona! i believe it’s the first time i hear from you! thanks for letting me know what you think of my blog 🙂 i’m happy that you’ve stopped using steroids, while the road ahead will be very bumpy, but i’ll be here, and so will the rest of the skin friends! DON’T STOP BELIEVING OK!!! my worst flare up hit me about 8 months into withdrawals. it really sucked balls. it was so… discouraging. but look where i am now! 😀

      xoxo

  2. You look great, Juliana! and the heck with the flares–they’re just blips–you’ve got your life back!
    My 11-year old son Brian has got his life back, as well: http://beyondtheitch.wordpress.com/2014/06/23/how-to-see-progress-during-topical-steroid-withdrawal/
    Sure, the itching is not 100% gone and his skin is not clear and silky smooth, but it hasn’t been that way since he was 18 months old. 🙂 Like you said, it’ll happen when it happens. Right now we are enjoying his return to pre-TSW energy and function.
    Thanks for continuing to encourage others! Keep on healing!
    Rosemarie

    • ahh thanks rosemarie!!! it’s so encouraging to hear this from you 🙂 i’m so happy for brian! honestly he looks so normal i can’t even tell him apart from his friends! i hope brian grows out of his eczema soon! throw him out into the sun! haha..

      i can’t agree with you more, i got my life back and that’s all i should really focus on.

      xoxo

  3. always good to see a picture of you smiling and healthy. you deserve every ounce of happiness you have now.

    time is going by quicker for me as well, which is a great thing! i think it’s because the more you deal with something, it becomes a habit and starts going smoother. kind of like how a semester at school usually starts off rocky and then before you know it it’s almost the end.

    only thing really bothering me at this point is this fugly red sleeve i have on the top of my hands and upper wrists. they’re the worst! because unlike the red of my body you can’t really hide it beyond awkwardly pulling your sleeves over your hands! D: if only i could transfer it to my feet or something……lol. :B

    • aww thank you grant! you’re so sweet 😀 i’m glad time passes by quicker for you! it probably means there’s less pain and itch that reminds you of the skin!!!

      and i have a very good recommendation to cover up your red sleeves (too bad it ain’t a tattooed sleeve, right? hahahah!).. i hope you have uniqlo in your city, they have these UV cut zip up hoodies, their sleeves go beyond the wrist!!!!!!! i actually bought 2 for this purpose. amazing for covering up my entire hand if i want to. they have a small opening on the side of the sleeve for you to put your thumb through, so your hand is still very functional! do check it out! 😀

    • i’m using the same old – simple kind to skin hydrating moisturizer! and some hydrating toners too. but for my body i’m trying to skip out on moisturizers for a while to see how it goes 😛

  4. Hey Juliana,

    I am 15 years old and my Mum found your blog while searching frantically for what was causing my skin to be the way it is.

    Your pictures are some-what identical to what I have. I have been on steroids for a nearly a year, but having SEVERE skin problems for 3 years. My Mum and I are at the end of the line here and we really hope that this is the final piece of the puzzle to my skin. We have sorted my diet out, (gluten-free, diary-free, no nuts, no fish, nothing artificial, nothing in cans, lactose-free, no berries or citrus fruits) and what I wish myself with, (just water, one bath a week with QV anti-fungal)

    I am going to begin my withdrawal today, and yes, I am going cold-turkey because I believe it will be the fastest and most best way to get the steroids out of my skin. I really hope my skin will become right. I seriously do. I think I am developing some sort of social disorder due to me being away / sick from school all the time. I’ve spent most of my teenage years waking up to ugly, fucked up person and long to be a kid when everything what some-what perfect.

    I hope the best of luck to me and hope I get through this. Your blog gives me hope. Keep it up!

    Thanks,
    Michael

    • hi there michael,

      let me give you a hug right now. i’m so sorry to hear about your experience with skin problems and how much it has affected you negatively in the past. the good thing is, you will surely be able to rise above that to be happier. nobody is perfect. how do you know others don’t have problems like you? they simply managed to hide it well. if i didn’t create this blog to show my bad skin, would you even believe i’ve suffered so much in the past just by judging my current photos? don’t be too harsh on yourself, and don’t let your skin define who you are. you are stronger than that.

      i also wish you the best of luck. the withdrawal process is long and slow but healing is real. my short advice for you is to set realistic expectations – do expect the skin to turn a lot worse for the first few months. you’d feel like you’re in hell but that’s normal. if you need support, leave me a comment or post about how your feel in the itsan forum, there’re many more people like you out there who’re going through the same shit and will be 100% able to understand what you’re feeling.

      you’re not alone 🙂

      stay strong! and good luck!

  5. Hey Juliana,

    I’ve been visiting your blog since I began TSW at the end of 2012. It’s been 18 months and I’m still recovering–very patchy, flakey and dry. Just wanted to thank you for creating this wondetful blog as it’s given many of us a clear image of this and the hope that it instills in me and many going through this. I’m again finding strength in your posts and looking forward to getting through this phase of my life.
    krys

    • hello krys!

      thank you very much for your comment to let me know how you’ve benefited from my blog! it always makes my day knowing that i’ve helped one more person!

      it’s great news that the dry skin is now patchy instead of widespread, right? 😉 it’ll keep getting better. i hope you can stay strong and keep your heads up! you’ll beat this TSW for sure!

      xoxo

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