[brain fart] TSW philosophy 101

TSW stieroid withdrawal

this entry was conceived while chatting with B, a skin friend of mine. hahaha i just quoted her when she said “TSW philosophy 101”.

other than changing my skin, TSW changed the way i see my life. so it’s not wrong to use the term “philosophy”, right? since its definition from the WWW is

a set of ideas about how to do something or how to live

so here are 10 ways to reframe your mind when you have similar thoughts that may pull you down into the hell hole. it may take some effort trying to force yourself to think in a different way, but it’s well worth the effort if you feel better about yourself afterwards.

to be very honest with you guys, most of the shift in mindset came after my skin became better. i did learn to be more positive back then even though i was still quite negative most of the time, but i can tell the changes in the way i think by reading through my past entries. all those traits are further amplified after i start to function normally again. i’m just offering you an alternative way to think, giving you more options if you’re currently stuck on certain thoughts. you’re your mind’s boss, you choose how you want to think at the end of the day. by no means am i saying that it’s easy to control how we think. but we can always try.



“i have so many problems and now my skin is being a bitch!?”

try this instead:

“i already have so many problems, my skin is the least i should worry about since it’s out of my control.”


“i am so jealous of people with good skin, i used to be like that.”

try this instead:

“i can already imagine myself being just like them in time to come! who cares about the past, what’s past is history, what matters most is the future.”


“i’m so sad i can’t join my friends doing what we used to do..”

try this instead:

“while it may sound like i’m missing out on all the fun, but as long as my friends are there for me, it shouldn’t matter whether i have fun now, or later. also, it’s the anticipation that makes an experience memorable and extraordinarily amazing. so wait on, young fella’.”


“i feel bad to trouble my loved ones and to make them worry.”

try this instead:

“i feel so lucky and immensely loved to have loved ones caring for me! I MUST LOVE THEM TWICE AS GOOD FROM NOW ON.”

(in fact, i vowed to always wash dishes for my brother because he washed mine for me when my hands were un-functionable last time. please don’t let him know about this because sometimes i do make him do his dishes when i’m busy.)


“i feel guilty for not having the energy/motivation to do what i should. i just don’t feel like doing anything at all.”

try this instead:

“i should just give myself a break. TSW is my guilt-free golden ticket to an official 1 year break! WOOHOO! dramas and whatnots, here i come. come over here, popcorn! into my belly.”

(i recommend plain popcorn as a healthier choice. popcorn is high in fibre and low in calories. it’s a pretty good snack if you eat moderately.)


“i hate waking up in the morning. the pain, the dryness, the harsh reality that withdrawals has not ended for me”

try this instead:

“i wish i didn’t have to wake up from my dream to face this nightmare, but at least, it’s one day nearer to the end of this nightmare. nothing can possibly get any worse than currently, so that means my day is only gonna get better! let’s get a shower to make myself feel better, followed by my favourite breakfast buffet. i don’t even have to count calories since i’m losing so much weight thanks to TSW. YES.”

(breakfast was the only thing that motivated me to get out of bed.)


“i loathe facing the mirror to look at the damage i’ve dealt on my skin”

try this instead:

“let me just kindly cover up all mirrors, it’s time to be less narcissistic. don’t they all say ignorance is bliss? i should just try not to look at my skin, and look at the beautiful things in life instead. *seconds later* OH WOW WHO’S THAT ACTOR. i just can’t peel my eyes off him! who needs mirrors!?”

(in times like this, external distraction may work the best in drawing our attention away instead of trying to NOT give ourselves attention.)


“i feel so upset that not even the closest of my family are sensitive enough to try to understand what i’m going through”

try this instead:

“while it sucks that they can’t understand TSW, i’m so glad that they don’t have to go through this hell i’m going through. THANK GOD. perhaps they don’t wanna make a big fuss out of my situation or labelling me as a handicap, that’s why they try to treat me normally? maybe maybe maybe. i’ll take whatever that makes myself feel better.”


“i’m sick of explaining what i’m going through to the world. just let me hide.”

try this instead:

“let me use this time to document and prepare the most mind-blowing explanation that i can give to the world when i’m become stronger and better. no one will be able to deny the truth then because seeing is believing. maybe it’ll be good to show people a glimpse of the ‘before’ right now so that they can appreciate the ‘after’ when i’m healed. no explanation needed, i’ll flash by their eyes like a commercial. let’s hope they don’t think i’m a ghost.”



try this instead:

“while it’s mentally comforting to point fingers at someone, but finding out who’s to blame can’t solve my problems. all that hate is doing my mind no good, i should just focus on how to make my skin feel better currently. I MUST DEVISE A PLAN TO BRING THEM DOWN AND NIB THEM AT THE ROOTS. phase 2, initiated. i’ll make sure you all die a slow and painful death.. *evil laughter*”


OK, some of them are just for humour, but you get the drift!

we can’t control what happens in our lives, but we can at the very least, try to control how we choose to deal with it.

every action will result in a reaction force, manage the latter and our lives will be so much better. it’s always about how we see things anyway. the same event can be seen as a good or a bad thing depending on where you stand.

and this resonates with a chinese idiom, 塞翁失馬,焉知非福.

It can be difficult to foresee the twists and turns which compel misfortune to beget fortune, and vice versa. There once was a (father), skilled in divination, who lived close to the frontier (with his son). One of his horses accidentally strayed into the lands of the Xiongnu, so everyone consoled him. (But) the father said, “Why should I hastily (conclude) that this is not fortunate?” After several months, the horse came back from the land of the Xiongnu, accompanied by another stallion, so everyone congratulated him. (But) the father said, “Why should I hastily (conclude) that this can not be unfortunate?” His family had a wealth of fine horses, and his son loved riding them. One day (the son) fell off a horse, and broke his leg, so everyone consoled (the father). (But) the father said, “Why should I hastily (conclude) that this is not fortunate?” One year later, the Xiongnu invaded the frontier, and all able-bodied men took up arms and went to war. Of the men from the frontier (who volunteered), nine out of ten men perished (from the fighting). It was only because of (the son’s) broken leg, that the father and son were spared (this tragedy). Therefore misfortune begets fortune, and fortune begets misfortune. This goes on without end, and its depths can not be measured.

off to make myself some food. it was, and will always be a motivation to kick me off bed. not that i’m in bed right now. 😛


16 thoughts on “[brain fart] TSW philosophy 101

  1. I want to thank you for all your updates and posts. It’s probably the only thing that’s keeping me same and optimistic during this long long and a little bit of traumatic journey.
    I am almost 7 full months into TSW and just when I feel like I can’t hold on any longer, your updates and the photos of your healing process give me the reassurance I need.

    I also wanted to share my experience with you on what you said about climate and environment having an impact on our healing.
    During my third month of TSW, I went to the Maldives with my husband (crazy I know) and somehow, it completely cleared up. Skin still felt thick and coarse but all trace of redness and rashes cleared up and I just looked tanned. I don’t know if it was due to swimming in the ocean everyday or the quality of tap water at the resort. Maybe because it was a stress free holiday? It went straight back to being flakey and oozy after I came back from holiday, but it was like some miracle had happened. Same thing happened again when we went to another beach resort in July for the weekend.
    I still really don’t know what to think of it, but after googling about it, I saw that a lot of Japanese people go to Hawaii to ease their symptoms. Interesting right?

    So anyway, I hope you’ll keep posting and continue on encouraging us with your beautiful face!

    • thanks for your lovely comment kay! you’re most welcome, always love to write and share, and the by product is encouraging you all (which makes my sharing experience even more pleasant).

      wow maybe all that sea water and sun are doing you a lot of good! you should test it out again! yea you’re right, it could be the stress free environment.. but there’re lots of evidence that the sun is good for eczema prone skin!

      hahaha does that mean hawaii is the next on your to-go list?

      aww thank you! but i was hoping for something like “continue encouraging us with your beautiful face AND MIND” hahahah!!!! ok ok i’m just kidding 😛 i’ll take whatever i can get.

      stay strong! you’ll need lots of strength.

  2. Great post as usual! for me the Chinese idiom is 大難不死,必有後福! lol cos it just felt like i was gonna die in early stages of TSW (each time). this time round i believe my 福 will definitely come 🙂

  3. hey Juliana,i hope you still remember me,the last time i commented on your post was a year ago i think,im currently in month 15 of TSW and everything is slowly getting better,i just wanted to say thank you,thank you SO MUCH for keep updating your blog(i love your sense of humor,it always crack me up haha) and sending everyone good vibes and positive energy ,it really gives a lot of hope to other warriors who’s suffering from TSW 🙂 so THANK YOUUUUU!!

    • crystal! yes i remember you!!!! you’re the cool DJ!!! i’m so glad you’re doing better!!! it’ll take some time, but you’ll get there eventually!

      i also want to thank you so much for dropping me a comment letting me know that someone’s actually reading and affected positively by my words 😀 love sending positive vibes out. why do i sound like an alien that can emit brain waves right into others’ minds. hahahahahha..

      lastly, you’re most welcome! :DDD


    • HUH!? my pictures featured there!? hahaha i visited the website but i didn’t see any! but it’s ok i guess, as long as it gets the truth out!!!!!!! 🙂 you’re most welcome! hahaha and thanks for keeping my english name private :DDD appreciate that! you know what i mean 😉

  4. Hi Juliana,

    I’ve used this blog for assurance that I too will heal, so I thank you for that. I’m extremely anxious about my fingers, I too have the “sausage” fingers. The bottom half of a few of them looks exactly like yours, however the top half of my pinky and thumb on my right hand looks rotten. The color has turned black, it often breaks and fluid comes out of it. The scabbing or skin which forms over it is yellowish green in color. Looking for some insight and hope it isn’t infected. It also constantly peels.

    • hello ian,

      you’re welcome 😀 glad i’m able to help a little.

      yellowish greenish sounds like an infection and pus to me. if you wanna be dead sure, ask your doctor to do a swab and culture test to see if it’s really an infection. a course of antibiotics may be necessary. an uninfected skin should only produce a clear-yellowish fluid.

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