as the months stack up, i’m beginning to lose count of the months off steroids.

i never saw that coming. i used to believe i’ll NEVER EVER forget a single thing – which includes the pain, sadness, depression, torture and everything i experienced – for life. reality says otherwise.

another month has gone past, i’ve made some progress in my latest flare. while the situation still look kinda horrible, if not, worse than before, this is some sort of progress as i know i’m moving along and heading towards good skin again.

sleep has been a problem for me for the past 2 weeks, i just can’t sleep soundly. last night i slept for an hour before waking up in the dead of the night (3am yo, the most evil hour?). thankfully i managed to fall back asleep around 6am.

rashy area on my scalp is oozing again, they have been moving around too – the original spot isn’t there, but a few others have sprung up around it instead.

my face is pink generally right now. lots of flaking. forehead shedding thicker skin now. lip area is still fragile, but doesn’t crack open as much as it used to a month ago.

skin on my neck has improved a little, with the exception of steroid damaged spots. the initial rash on my upper chest are now gone, but the skin there isn’t optimal yet.

rashes on my hands seem to be subsiding very slowly, however my cuticle on a few fingers are still pretty much swollen and scaling. they’re much better though, they used to shed daily, resulting in very oozy fingers.

in other news, body is very prone to hyper pigmentation now. my elbow and knee joints are weak and hurting. 😦

more rashes seem to be appearing on my feet!? they’re minor though. i foresee them gone within a few weeks.

no signs of “bloody wounds” though, THANK GOD!

so that’s it, 2 months into my latest flare.

other miscellaneous stuff:

can’t help but link my runny nose, neck ache, and tooth ache together. they hit me 2 weeks ago and took about a week to subside. well, my nose has been running for the past few months to be exact. it was a symptom that i never really mentioned before. as for the tooth ache, it’s my wisdom tooth trying to break free from my gums. that low level pain that hits me when i eat makes me contemplate running a knife over my gums to relief the building pressure. just a thought though.

i can be sure right now that my neck ache is NOT caused by me using my laptop for too long. it must be some sort of inflammation within my body.

my body is weird.

i wonder how will things unfold in another month’s time! taking it one month at a time 🙂

stay strong everyone. don’t stop believing.


8 thoughts on “MONTH 44

  1. Dear Juliana,
    Thank you for your care about all of us that are ready to give up. You give us new hope again and again and strength to believe.
    Wish so much I could tell you how to improve your options to get rid of your setbacks. They steel power, though you’re strong.
    Hope you have supporters, who make difference to the better.

    • you’re most welcome my friend!
      there’s only so little i can do to help people with the same condition.. i’m really glad you found some hope in my updates!

      it’s okay, it’s more meaningful to find my own way out of my mess than to have someone tell me how to do it. i get to learn more in the process 😀

      good luck to your daughter!

  2. Hi Juliana,
    I seemed to have recovered fully from TSW ten months ago but am now dealing with a big patch of eczema on my arm that has been cracking and seems to be spreading. I’ve been keeping up with your blog since summer 2013 and am really grateful to know that I’m not alone in dealing with this. Good luck with the healing process, which we both know is long but at least sure to come.

    • hello kaye, thanks for your comment! i think our body is just more prone to showing problems through our skin since it’s not as resilient as a normal person’s skin anymore (either that or we’re just atopic!). give it a few months, it should be gone soon! hope it’s not giving you too much inconvenience! cover it up if it makes you feel more comfortable.


  3. I was going to suggest something about eczema always flaring worse in the winter, but then I realized it’s warm where you are, right? For people like us who manifest problems through our skin (I’m a firm believer that eczema also an internal problem- though definitely not linked to diet in my opinion. I’ve noticed different vitamins have made a huge difference!) if we start to get sick (or even experience tooth problems) our body wants to fight that and gives us that rash and inflammation . I know I can’t get a cold or anything without having a huge flare! Maybe you’re the same, and your body is trying to fight something? This theory always makes people try to say I have lupus. Which is so frustrating because I know what I have, and I hate when people think they know my body better than I do! Sorry for the rant.
    I hope it starts to improve again. You’re so beautiful and strong, and are great at keeping things in perspective! Stay strong like always!!

    • thanks for your input samantha! while i think topical steroids withdrawal has little to do with diet, the underlying atopic eczema probably have something to do with what we put into our body, because our body’s defense system won’t be engaged unless it sensed foreign bodies! i’m on a journey to find out what i’m intolerant to right now 🙂

      you are right about the climate in singapore, it’s pretty warm and humid all year round. i’m pretty thankful for that! i can’t imagine what would winter be like with skin like this right now, probably cracking open all over the place! urgh!

      thanks for the encouragement and suggestions!


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