[brain fart] how to be happy when you’re in deep shit

thanks to the free newspaper that gets delivered to my doorstep, i came across a rather insightful article that i’d like to share with you. the title is “why do elders smile”, and it has shed some light on several questions i’ve asked myself before. one of them is as follows.

why am i seemingly more resilient than i was before?

i mean, i always know i’ve become a stronger person after going through TSW. judging by the way i react to situations in life as compared to my friends further highlight the shift in me. it may sound snobbish, but i don’t mean it in that way. sometimes i just wanna ask them “why so serious?”, because they’re obviously sweating over the small stuff in life that shouldn’t garner anymore of their attention. [DISCLAIMER: i also understand the tendency for everyone to view their problem as the biggest problem in the universe, and it’s perfectly normal for an individual to think that way.]

part of my answer agrees with what i read.

1. bifocalism
in simple words, it means the ability to see things from multiple perspectives. while i haven’t exactly gained a lot more perspectives, i did gain one more after TSW. it’s more than enough to tilt the balance in my world because it has redefined the limits which acts as reference points. the article suggest the difference between seeing something up close and personal, as well as far away with detached perspectives (in an impersonal way?). i think i’m still learning how to do the latter.

why is it good to have more perspectives? because this world is not one dimensional, and if you can find a vantage point to look at one situation, it can appear to be both good and bad at the same time, depending on how you look at it. clearly, i now have a choice between how i interpret things in life, and that’s a gift that TSW has given me.

however, it appears that not everyone gain the same thinking as i did even after experiencing TSW. i suppose they didn’t fall deep enough to tilt their balance.

i didn’t suffer in vain!

2. lightness

lightness is understood as lightness in the mind – not being weighed down by attachment to problems in life. TSW has taught me that most setbacks are not the end of the world, in fact, every obstacle is an opportunity. 

not only is this thinking very instrumental in how i bring myself back into balance (i did feel sad initially when my skin flared, BUT I BOUNCED BACK REAL QUICK LIKE A BALL UNDERGOING ELASTIC COLLISION!), it’s also very useful in protecting me against future disturbances. i’m no longer attached to unrealistic outcomes that are hard to attain, it’s the way of life that buddhism teaches you – not to be attached. it’s good to have a positive vision of the future – something that i’m heading towards. i just have to take note not to be too invested in it such that when i have to let go, i’ll probably lose an arm.

i’ve learnt to let go, because let’s face it, you can’t fight life. like a wave, it’s gonna slap you in your face if you refuse to move and that will hurt pretty bad. you gotta go with the flow and ride along with it. i can’t stop what life has in store for me, the least i can do when something i dislike happens is to resist lesser so that the passage of time can be smoother and more pain-free.

“resistance is futile”, life said to me.

quoting from the article:

“Anxiety is the biggest waste in life. If you know that you’ll recover, you can save time and get on with it sooner.”

i really like the article. 
it helps myself understand a little more about myself.
why things work a certain way.
why am i feeling ok so quickly..

to answer the topic question, just don’t stop believing you’ll heal. recall the times when things were much more worse than it is right now so that you’ll feel better. have healthy expectations – there will be many ups and downs within one flare, and sometimes flares don’t let up after a year. face it, shit happens. if all else fails, study my entry on what to expect from TSW to give yourself a head start of what kind of deep shit you’re getting yourself into.

why so serious?

all our troubles and worries are on a nano (to the power of avogadro’s constant) scale when compared to the universe. that’s what my header image is trying to say.

stay strong, and don’t stop believing.

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11 thoughts on “[brain fart] how to be happy when you’re in deep shit

  1. wonderful wisdom there, juliana. if there’s one thing i’ve learned in life, it’s “accept what is, like youv’e chosen it” cuz resisting will only make it worse. i was fortunate to experience very clear, soft skin for 6 whole months (in a row) out of 20. and i’m doing some serious healing again. so, i KNOW the skin does get better. and if it returns…well, everything happens for a reason. embrace all that life has to dish out..even the shitty stuff. peace.

  2. You truly are an inspiration, I can’t imagine myself being ‘healed’ for so long and have symptoms recurring or relapsing again. I admire your perseverance!

    Apologies in advance, It may seem like I come here only to ask questions but that is seriously not the case! I looked up your entries and you mentioned black spots/moles. I have them too all over my body, they’re small and hard to see from a distance. Just wondering if they eventually disappeared or are they actually permanent?

    • hello ian! thanks for the heads up! i am amazed by how much more positive i am this time round as well, and i think TSW really strengthens a person! and please don’t feel like you’re here to only ask questions. even if you were, it’s perfectly ok! the little black spots do go away with time. you’re looking at 6 months minimum. if they bother you, you can speed up cellular exfoliation and renewal with retinol products, but i think its not necessary since you mentioned they’re not obvious!

      good luck!

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