15 january 2015

this have been up and down like always, but i noticed a general improvement in the skin around my lips. they aren’t as fragile anymore! it’s not cracking up anymore. but my cheeks are still pink and dry.

sleep has been kinder to me lately, getting a few more hours of sleep ๐Ÿ™‚ no itch fest for about a week?

fingers crossed.

inner elbow fold is a little rough again, but my calves smoothened, previously rashy spot turned dark brown.

neck is cycling between smoother and dry skin. it feels worse than it looks in my opinion.

fingers are kinda messed up right now. recessed cuticle and inflammed too! fuck! they also ooze like nobody’s business if the skin comes off. the ooze isn’t like the past though, these are more clear and runny. and they have a distinctive scent too.


17 january 2015

i’m probably in cycle 9 right now. parts that were smooth and soft last week have become slightly raised again, and are thicker too.

general dryness over my body.

oh well! scalp isn’t oozing as much anymore, thankfully. i can sleep properly. i still wake up at least once throughout the night, but i fall asleep and manage to clock in 7-8 hours for the past few days.

my fingers are really angry right now. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ they’re obviously more inflamed than they were. so are my feet.


21 january 2015

after another few days of plasticky face, skin seems to be calming down now.
i notice more obvious red patches right now, i guess this means the general redness and pinkess is starting to subside, hence making the red rashes appear more obvious.

finger tips are starting to show signs of improvement. the skin used to crack open and shed daily to reveal a very juicy and oozy mess, i observe many tiny wells and holes on the “new” skin that isn’t too ready to face the world yet. for the past 2 days, the skin don’t crack as badly anymore, and it now sheds once every 2 days. the skin underneath doesn’t have those wells too.

i guess every part of my skin have their own healing cycle and time table.

sleep has been much better in the past week. is it because of the vitamin D? perhaps. currently only 30000IU a day.

my feet is showing signs of healing too, the previously raised rashes aren’t raised anymore, except for those parts where i constantly irritate by peeling :/ i tried 7 days of bleach bath last week for my hands and feet. maybe i used a little too much bleach or something, my skin end up angrier. one thing i know for sure – my skin isn’t the way it is due to some unknown infection or bacterial colonization.

the overall improvement i noticed is that my skin is stronger than it was 3 months ago. it used to seep a lighter fluid across my skin if i scratch it, which makes it difficult for me when i sleep because when my skin comes into contact with each other, they tend to encourage seeping. i don’t call it oozing because it’s not as fast and high in volume as the normal ooze. i also do not stink anymore! those seep give me an odd smell after a night. THANK GOD!!!!!!!

fingers crossed.


31 january 2015

end of month. i’ll try to recall all the changes i’ve observed so far.

– scalp isn’t oozing anymore, doesn’t feel rashy to me because scratching it doesn’t give me that itch fest feeling. still some scabs here and there, but its very minor. dandruff is almost down to none now.

– my scalp also stopped producing oils at the start of my flare, but they have returned since.. a few weeks ago? i can’t remember when. hahaha this feels like limbo – lost sense of time since everyday is almost the same skin, same stuff.

– face have went from blotchy to uniformly red, now it’s beginning to look blotchy again.

– skin around my mouth has strengthened. dead skin that sheds have went from thin to thick, now it’s getting thin again.

– forehead able to tolerate creams, but not my cheeks.

– rash on eyelid is subsiding too. my eyelids can now fold properly, but still looks a little swollen.

– neck was rough and shedding daily, now it takes a few days in between shedding.

– neck used to be moist when the skin touches each other. not anymore.

– back was rough and dry, now it’s still dry but not as rough as before. getting better.

– back of hand was rashy with raised, elephanty skin. sheds greyish scales. now, the skin don’t look elephanty anymore.

– wrist was cracking up, so are my feet. but over the past 2-3 weeks they have closed up and heading towards flatter skin.

– feet was oozing quite a lot due to pressure and broken skin. just last week they were hurting and cracking up, but after those skin hardened and shed, my feet feels so much better now. felt like the bad skin was shed off. i saw lots of vesicles underneath my skin. they seem to have reduced as of the past few days too.

– fingers have went from mildly inflamed to very inflamed (skin will shed daily and prematurely, exposing raw holey skin that oozes). now it’s not as inflamed, at least it’s keeping its skin on for a day or two until i can’t resist the temptation to peel it off. it’s getting better i think?

– sleep was out of whack. for the past few weeks, i wake up constantly around 7-8am, and fall asleep around 12-1am. the mid-sleep waking sessions are also gone. my sleep is getting better.

– calves are still dry. but rashy parts have flattened. for good i hope.

– started moisturizing the non rashy but dry parts of my skin.

and on to things that didn’t really change..

– hair fall is still very scary. i don’t know what post-cancer-treatment-hairfall is like, but compared to my usual hair fall, this is pretty much it.

– still not moisturizing my face and neck.

– still going through cycles of angry to calm skin.


4 february 2015

first period in the past 3 months. 0_0 for some strange reason, it stopped, just like how it disappeared (also for 3 months) during my first flare in 2011.

skin fall has definitely decreased, judging the amount of skin i get when i sweep the floor.

skin has been getting better and better slowly. my chest was a little itchy again, perhaps two episodes of minor itch fest yesterday.

my eyelids are finally not rashy anymore (my right eye). left eye is still a little rashy, which is very telling when i open my eyes because it looksย puffy and swollen.

this morning i woke up to a calm face – doesn’t look red/pink. once the blood gets pumping i’m a little pink. i think it’s a good sign ๐Ÿ™‚ my cheeks and chin are still rashy, but they’re just dry and slightly raised. please go away soon..

my hands are continuing to improve. rashy area doesn’t look rashy, but it feels drier and rougher than the other parts of my hand.

legs are probably the best out of all my limbs right now (excluding my feet). i’ve exfoliated the layer of cracking old skin, followed by moisturizer and some vaseline to seal everything in. previously rashy part is now reduced to hyperpigmented spots.

little improvements daily that isn’t noticeable, but it makes a difference when i look back at photos.


7 february 2015

my right cheek haven’t turned rough and flaky for 2 days. that’s a good sign! the flaking is slowing down! but my left cheek, which was also the side that started sprouting a rash, is still slightly rough and dry. just a few more days, i suppose!

my eyelids are almost 95% normal now. no more swelling. the skin there isn’t rough, dry and thick like before. ๐Ÿ˜€

my upper chest is a little rashy. well, not rashy like before, but very bumpy and slightly red. the skin is rough. exfoliation helps, but the skin is still fragile, so i know it’s still healing.

now er.. my fingers, some of them are seemingly calmer. but my left ring finger is more angry than before.

left elbow is rough and dry, will be better soon i know! the skin will shed and i get a few days of normal feeling skin. until it fully recovers (or until i stop scratching it).


11 february 2015

my skin is still going through cycles, but the duration of the calm periods are lengthening as time goes by! moreover, the bad times aren’t as bad as they were a few months back.

right now i’m slightly dry and waiting to shed ๐Ÿ˜›

the skin on my face still seems relatively fragile. skin on neck feels thin too. pigmented. the rest of my body’s skin is almost perfect to me.

this cycle seem to have coincided with me catching the flu, so i don’t know if it made things worse or not. i’ve been having headaches, neck aches, lower back aches, and tummy ache. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ seems like a stomach flu to me. if labour felt like extended tummy aches.. good lord. i wish i could rip my skin open to massage my guts because it felt like they were in knots.

what’s surprising is perhaps the healing of rashes i’ve had for about a year. they were on my feet and back of my thighs. it could be time, but it could also be the elimination diet i’ve been on for the past 4 months. FYI, i went on the auto immune paleo diet plan, cutting out not just gluten and dairy, but also eggs, soy and nightshades. i’ve avoided nuts and seeds but i’ve been eating them again lately. while i can’t say that it took away my cycles, but the gradual healing of long standing rashes seem to look promising to me. perhaps those are the underlying eczema that will be affected by my diet? i’ll never know until i binge on potentially offending foods again, but, why would i do that? even in the name of science, i don’t want to risk getting my skin back into the bad state considering how much time it takes for it to heal.

as much as i want to carry out a well designed scientific experiment on myself, i realize the cost (of bad skin) is just too great. if i find something that seem to work for me, i’ll just keep doing it. that makes any tests inconclusive, because i can’t prove that it’s actually whatever i’m doing that’s helping. that’s why you’ll never hear from me saying “this ______ healed me!”.

i’ll do a proper write up on things i’ve tried for this flare after i’m done with this flare for good ๐Ÿ™‚ for now.. i’m just glad to note that things are improving, even if it’s slower than what i wished for it to be.

but i can’t deny the fact that i’m healing, slowly but surely.


8 thoughts on “MONTH 46

    • thank you for your comment ๐Ÿ™‚ hahaha thanks for crediting my honesty! i dont see why i should lie because that’d be lying to myself too. thankfully my skin did turn good enough just before CNY!

    • i do take 30000IU a day. i meant for it to be a one month dose. i’ll step it down soon ๐Ÿ˜‰ i havent been in the sun for a long time, and it takes a few months for the serum vitamin D levels to build up.

  1. Hi Juliana, sorry to keep asking you questions. Noted your comments on your menstruation during your first flare and your current one. I also did not have my menses at all from start of the TSW till now in my 8th month. Is this a common issue for female TSW warriors?

    Appreciate your reply ๐Ÿ˜€
    Gong Xi Fa Cai

    • i’m not sure whether it’s common or not! i haven’t heard from others about their period! i’ve only went 3 months without bleeding so i can only speak for myself! if you’ve always had regular period, you shouldn’t worry too much because everything is weird during TSW!

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