month 48

time for an update.

i realize the best way to take note of my daily happening is to write everything down on a calendar. HAHAHA i’m reusing last year’s calendar because i didn’t use it until the second half of the year =_= turns out it’s a really good way to document my progress. perhaps you’ll like to try this method too!

i typically note down my sleeping time, my symptoms that day, and also noting down my bowel movement if possible (it matters.).

this entry is photo heavy. expand to read and see. 18 March 2015

my face is swollen like an pan man currently. I wonder if this is what a skin lift feels like, this extreme tightness, my face plump and “hydrated”.

I’ve never experienced a swelling so bad before. I’m disfigured. but that’s not what’s worrying me the most. I am supposed to fly in two weeks time and.. wtf!? my skin was healing well and in a moment of excitement I’ve booked tickets because I foresee myself doing even better by the end of the month.

this qualifies as a fml moment right now. but! a lot of things can change in 2 weeks. so I’ll keep my fingers crossed. the full body hives and itch has calmed down. what’s left is the same old rashes, raised skin, blah. the new thing is my big round moon face.

nope, it’s not because I secretly tried oral steroids. it’s not a food allergy I believe because it took a few days to expand to its current size. I still do not know the actual cause. neither do the chinese medicine practitioners.

11 april 2015

1 month later, my facial swelling has gone away. what’s left is another phase of redness/dryness/shedding/scaling, all that jazz you know? let me recall what happened in the past month.

2nd week of march – skin started turning blotchy, a little bit itchy, and my fingers are oozing again.

eczema flare face

that pink cheek, in a bad way because it itches. sleep is running on the insufficient side, sleeping around 1-2am, and waking around 7-9am.

3rd week of march – started getting hives when i scratch my skin. suddenly, every part of my body feels good if i scratch it (i didn’t scratch because it itched, but it felt good when i scratch, and it grew into an itch and scratch fest). continued to get blotchy. first day after TCM, i started feeling a little oozy on my face.


hives on arm.


hives on leg.

sleeps around 12-1, and wakes around 8-10.

4th week of march – what the m*****f****** facial swelling is this? my itch is getting worse, face getting increasingly swollen day by day, and threatens to ooze at night. even my ear canals is oozing that clear yellow fluid WTH? my entire face’s skin harden, even my nose hahaha! i get to peel them off in a few days time, gotta say it’s pretty enjoyable (even though it hurts a little). my arms are oozing from the raised spotty rash. the back of my leg folds are also moist and sticky if i bend my knees.  i couldn’t pee much despite drinking so much water. after 1 week of TCM (getting rid of heat and wetness) i declare my skin has been the worst it’s ever been in the past 6 months. hives are improving, but still present. hair fall is at its maximum again. fml. and some of my skin is falling off me in thick pieces 0_0


mom says she can’t recognise me. neither can i. wtf is this!? freaking an pan man!


see the resemblance?


the spots are turning red, and scratching them makes them ooze😦


back of knee is seeping ooze. it only ooze when the skin is in contact with each other, or with other objects, like my pants.


red rashy parts on my arm is growing.

extremely bad sleep, SO MISERABLE (sleeps around 3-5am, wakes around 10-11am). wakes a thousand times =_= is this even called sleep?

5th week of march – a week of shedding. all those oozy parts are now drying out and turning into scabs. changed the TCM medication to a digestion medication because i believe it’s the root of my problem. never been more glad to be able to pee after the previous week of weirdness. even though it may not alleviate the redness and dryness that quickly. miraculously or not, the back of my knee stopped oozing and the skin is much better there. my ears also stopped oozing and went back to normal. but the rest of my face and body is still seemingly red. previously scabby abdomen and thigh is now smoother, albeit the skin is noticeably thinner. no more hives even if i scratch my skin!

having an “i made this!” moment.


those red spots are turning into scabs. feels extremely yucky to touch. i couldn’t wait too long before scratching them all off. skin was smoother after that😛 but hella red. you can also see how dry my neck area was. it doesn’t look like that anymore though.


these skin fell off (i peeled them off when they were ready to go) from behind my knees. they were so dark initially, and slowly become a lighter shade of brown.


i’m surprised how quickly the back of my knee got back to semi normal in a matter of a week. no oozing is good news! skin is still fragile, but as long as it doesn’t ooze, i’m happy.

sleep is probably the worse this week – only falls asleep after 5am, and wakes around 11am. if i’m exhausted i get to fall asleep around 1 or 2am, only to wake up 2 hours later until it’s 6am before i doze off again. waking up almost after every sleep cycle.

1st week of april – this week i try another dose of “heat reducing” TCM drugs, just 4 days. i can feel my face starting to swell and wanna ooze again, but it’s not as bad as a few weeks ago. ears are oozing again. i don’t think it’s just a coincidence. i believe shouldn’t be taking any more heat reducing herbs. my skin was glowing in red (very noticeable on my arms and face). my face is a mess after showering because those skin seem to come right off prematurely while in the shower. i notice my eye and upper cheek area seems to be taking it the worse. my lip area isn’t red and oozing the same way, despite it flaking and shedding daily too, but the skin is just different. not rashy. my legs were red last week, but seems to look slightly more muted and darker this week.

mysterious shedding on my thigh (and legs, but not shown in photo), probably from where the hives grew previously. felt like the skin that comes off after getting burnt by the sun.


extra red eye and upper cheeks after i rubbed them in the shower. sorry if this scared you. i thought i looked like someone from a horror movie.

sleep is shifting again. in the first part of the week i’m sleeping around 5am, in the second half of the week, sleep came earlier, mostly around 2-3am. wakes several time throughout the night, mostly because i feel warm and i’m losing moisture through my back, making my mattress feel very moist.

2nd week of april – ooze is clearing up after i finished those “heat reducing” herbs. back on digestive herbs, and two others that increases the yin (i don’t know how to translate TCM terms and perspectives into scientific terms yet.). the facial swelling is going away again. my entire arm is red, looks a lot like when i was going through TSW last time, but it’s not raised or overly elephanty. looks like a bad sunburn. skin is fragile and thin looking especially after exfoliating. if i scratch my arms it’ll seep some ooze, and proceed on to forming dry skin flakes over the next few days.


the familiar red/pink sleeve? but without all those flaking and swelling?


my arm looks pretty normal after those scabs came off. they were smooth until i decided to scratch them a few days ago, so now it’s forming dry skin again.


this morning😀 looking a lot better than weeks ago. no more facial swelling. oozing is going down. lots of shedding. eyebrow is threatening to fall off.

sleep has successfully shifted again. sleeping around 2-3am, and waking around 9-10am. still waking at least once each night.

=====================================================

my body heat is obviously affected again, i was freezing in room temperature (probably 25-28 degrees C) while feeling heat leave my body during the 3rd and 4th week of march. i’m much more comfortable in room temperature right now.

i’ve grown a liking for warm water. i’ve been meditating daily for the past month🙂 the breathing and guidance helps me stay on the beneficial side of my perspectives. i’ve also been reading a lot on TCM’s perspective on skin issues and overall health. i never knew the lack of lunula on my fingers is a sign of deviation from good health. i’ve definitely learnt a lot from this second flare. i have a feeling it’ll be my last.

what is science? science makes observations of reality, and then try to explain it with hypothesis and relationships. TCM’s explanation of every health problem sounds so ridiculous (especially if i were to translate into english), but those observations of correlations are real. and i really love how the ancient chinese used nature as an analogy to try to explain what’s going on in our body. this is really in line with what i think – we’re all part of nature, and we work in similar ways.

anyway, lots of experiments on my side. can’t wait to share my findings with you all once i get some results🙂 my diet is changing again, i’m cutting down on meat and eating more rice now. i also hate more than just a few bites of cake today =_= it won’t be often though.

it’s so crazy to observe how quickly things change within the course of one month. while some of you may be thinking i have a lot of TSW symptoms, which i also noticed, i still see a slight difference as compared to my experience 4 years ago.

it’s the first time i ever experienced such hives. the flurry of mosquito-bite-like bumps and the subsequent scab formation and shedding is also a first. the lip area isn’t very involved in this time’s flare, instead it’s my eye and upper cheek area. this horrendous swelling of my face is also different from all the swellings i’ve experienced in the past.

this entire thing is just so weird. but i still think it’s due to my underlying eczema, and not TSW. my skin has healed previously after a course of TCM, that probably dealt with my underlying eczema which explains a year of pretty good skin. but er.. as i didn’t know too much about my own body type, i didn’t know how to take good care of my body (as in, i must have ate something that wasn’t too suitable for my body over a long period of time).

so my current advice for those of you who have been at least 2 years into TSW and your skin hasn’t cleared yet, it could be more than just TSW. deal with your underlying eczema if you can with alternative methods, you may experience a positive result. otherwise, keep trying until you experience a positive change. severe eczema and TSW look very similar, i can’t really tell them apart, hence i’m doing all these experiments to see if i’m correct (that what i’m going through is my eczema flare).

the other day my friend voiced her concern over my aggressive trial and errors on myself. she made me think twice about what i’m doing – am i risking my health and safety? it’s good to have someone to remind me to evaluate everything that i’ve done thus far. it’s not about wanting to heal my skin in the fastest possible way, instead it’s about learning and trying as much as i can so that i can offer you all the possible options to try in order to help your own skin.

i mean, i just want to remind everyone that there is always hope. if one method doesn’t work, it just mean we’re not addressing the root of the problem. that’s how i see it.

i’ve felt absolutely helpless in the past during the start of my TSW because i know very well that i MUST go through the withdrawals in order for my skin to heal. there’s no escaping. no short cuts. it was so saddening to know there is NOTHING i can do to help myself. helplessness is really one of the suckiest feeling on earth. but right now, as i feel that it’s eczema, it suddenly opens up a slew of options for myself. and each one of those options looks a lot like hope.

hope is what’s keeping me positive despite the flares i’ve experienced.

being told “eczema is incurable” felt like a death sentence. but i’m telling you right here right now, if you are willing to make certain changes in your lifestyle to suit your body type, eczema will be gone.

maybe it’s just me. but i just can’t sit around doing nothing, expecting things to change right now. 4 years ago, it worked because TSW has to happen irregardless of whether i try to help my skin or not.

but it’s different now.

stay hopeful, my fellow skin friends🙂

43 thoughts on “month 48

  1. Hey Juliana, just wondering if you are still using moisturizer as you have you been using moisturizer throughout your withdrawal. I always had this impression that moisturizer seem to slow down the healing process. I am slightly over 2 years into my withdrawal, and I could feel the tangible effects of not using moisturizer.

    • hey! “throughout my withdrawal”, you mean my first 24 months of the withdrawal? yes, i used moisturizer (mainly vaseline) whenever my skin can tolerate it, and when i needed it (especially when going out to hide dry skin). i haven’t been using moisturizer for the past year, however i have been experimenting with oils for the past 2 months🙂 if you feel better without moisturizer, keep going without it! listen to your body😀

  2. Hi Juliana, first of all thank you for continuing to update your blog. I admire you greatly. I’m going to post another annoying “…have you tried” thing here unfortunately, against my better judgement, but…
    If you haven’t already checked out Spela Prelovsek’s blog post here about her adrenal suppression and subsequent treatment and cure, it may be worth doing so. She was over 2 years into TSW and started getting worse. She’s now doing extremely well. Here’s the page:

    http://odvisnostodkortikosteroidnihmazil.blogspot.co.uk/2015/02/case-of-adrenal-supression-in-tsw.html

    • hey holly! thanks for the link! that was really interesting to read! it’s very possible for a person to have adrenal insufficiency, although it’s quite rare in the TSW sphere. i’m glad that spela managed to find the reason to end it all! i’ll get my blood checked really really soon!!!

  3. There is always hope. You went through TSW, eczema is only another stage for you to pass through. I am with my TCM doctor for 7 mths now, things are starting to change lately, as i observed. Be patient🙂 By the way, i just wonder how you are juggling the symptoms and work/school? Stay strong and be positive, my friend!

  4. There could be allergy reactions for herbs in TCM also (i had it very strong before, but at 1st time of my treatment – 10 years before, it was exellent result of treatment). May be you should try not to use herbals, but use acupuncture only. Did you make patch test to be sure about allergens? Some time ago i ate apples and oat, i was sure about its safety, but after the test i realized, that i had allergy for them.. And the same with some moisturizes products. So be careful. Take care.

    • hey Natalia, you may be right, it could be an allergic reaction to some herbs. but it’s strange because I’ve taken this medication years ago before and it didn’t amount to anything like this. I am also very puzzled as to what exactly happened. the only logical explanation that I can think of is the healing crisis, where my body can not get rid of “toxins” quick enough when those herbs tried to purge them out of my body. they end up staying in my blood and flowing everywhere else instead. I have got a blood test for allergens, but not for chinese herbs though! hahaha the clinic didn’t have such a allergen panel for testing. I have been using any creams or moisturizers, nor shampoo. so it’s really coming from within, as far as I observed!

      • I’m sorry, i would like, but i don’t so believe that “body can not get rid of “toxins” quick enough when those herbs tried to purge them out of my body” this theory. You too long on TSW and It’s very like as just allergic reaction, especially hives. From my experience, when you stop to give allergen to your body, the reaction come down very quickly. I asked about patch test just to be shure, that its not food reaction. So logically there could stay moisturizing creams/shampoo, herbs.. Some time ago i also had a good result in TCM herbal treatment (during 9 months), but the every! next time i had very agressive reaction on first days of using them((( the body today is not the same now and reactions changed. I feel very sorry on your just another exacerbation, and i hope that my suggestions could help. I know some pations to whom acupuncture help. But its a long process.

      • it’s okay, everyone is open to their own opinions and interpretation of events!😉 the hives started even before i was on TCM herbs, if anything, i was allergic to my own scratching if that makes any sense! and you are right, once you remove the allergen, the body will calm down. but there can also be another possibility, where the body’s immune system is in overdrive and falsely attack harmless molecules/agitations. like people with systemic lupus, their immune system attack themselves. what allergens should they remove then? their own organs and blood? i will be trying acupuncture soon, i’m a little excited because i’ve never done it before! thanks for your input🙂 i appreciate your suggestions!

      • Still this is two different diseases and the cure will be different (avoiding allergens) 应该是。don’t be afftaid of needles, you will like them after)))

      • Sorry, i forgot tell about vitamin C and citric acid (often in some food) . From my experience it also could be potential strong allergens.

      • hey there, i’m a fellow TSW sufferer from Singapore. I wanted to add that TCM herbs could likely contain heavy metals, and these tax the liver which is likely already overburdened in eczema sufferers

      • hey there ben, thanks for the warning! it’s really nice of you to think of the welfare of helpless eczema sufferers who may succumb to more harm when in search of help! it’ll be a nice reminder to all to be more careful of what they put into their body! especially after the entire topical steroids saga🙂

  5. I forgot, it could be a shampoo too! Try to change it on smth simple in ingredients. My friend (she has not ezema) has a bad reaction on it and me too. Especialy, at less pay attention on sodium benzoate in it. I think it must be an explanation of any reactions… Sodium benzoate can be in moisturizers, shampoo, meat food, toothpaste..

  6. As quoting your diary, “i couldn’t pee much despite drinking so much water. after 1 week of TCM (getting rid of heat and wetness) i declare my skin has been the worst it’s ever been in the past 6 months.”

    They are countless people with a life-long kidney disease because of the trust of TCM.

    Is the TCM treatment really more safe than that of the adequate topical steroid application? In fact, how herbs were cultivated (pesticides using and residue?….) is not fully scrutinized. How potency and the side effect of the herbs’ ingredients are also not being fully investigated.

    • thanks for your concern regarding kidney diseases. I’ll get my kidneys checked soon! I forgot to mention that even before I started TCM, I have experienced episodes of little pee despite drinking lots of water. but it rarely happens so I didn’t give it much thought.

      the episode of little pee during TCM consumption only lasted for a few days (it was just 2 days) everything is back to normal now. I don’t know if it’s really related to TCM since it happened before (without TCM). but it did scare the crap out of me for a bit!

      it’s easy for you to use topical steroids again because you do not have atopic dermatitis to begin with. as I have atopic dermatitis, topical steroids will only lead me down the same rabbit hole unless I target my root problem. I can’t say which treatment is safer, but I already know Topical steroids is not an option or solution for me, hence I will never use it again.

      there are people who ended up with kidney diseases because they were misguided by practitioners. using your same argument, there are also thousands of us who also ended up with this fucking TSW even though topical steroids have been tested and shown to be safe for use. even when the side effects of TS are studied, few doctors are aware or, or adopted the idea of TSA. I know TS have helped you, but everyone is different. what works for you may be my poison.

      I wish you well! and in happy that the topical steroids worked in your favour!

  7. Juliana, I stumbled across your blog a few weeks ago when I started my own TSW journey (just starting month two). Your insights and attitude are amazing and you are handling this all with extreme class – really inspiring. I hope you find the root of your eczema soon and can rid yourself of these flares and symptoms.

    Nothing wrong with looking like Anpanman either – loved by kids all over the world!

    • hey hello there! I’m glad to be able to inspire you in some way! trust me, I wasn’t this positive the first time my skin flared years ago. I’m only more positive because I’ve seen the light🙂 thanks for your well wishes! it means a lot to see simple encouragement like yours in my quest to treat my eczema! hahahaha and your last sentence tickled me! thanks for making me feel better! hahaha I was thinking to myself “at least I know how I’ll look like if I do remove my wisdom teeth”.

  8. i m sooo sorry to learn about this. I hope by now when you’re reading this you’re getting better Juliana. How are you doing? I am also seeing a chinese doc now, doing both acupuncture and also drinking chinese herbs. I find that my body cannot tolerate “cool” herbs (which are supposed to help to remove heat inside our body”. I have to take some “mildly warm” herbs in order to strengthen my body to help to remove the heat itself. And yes, acupuncture helps too.
    I am now about 22 months in, still struggling but hopefully it’s healing towards the right way. I can send you the list of the chinese herbs that I am taking. I know everyone is different but it’s no harm that u ask your doctor if it suits you. Just feel free to email me at brenda.chu@gmail.com

    Happy healing, for both of us!

    • hello brenda! looks like your body type is the cooler type! i’m the hotter type (literally HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA just kidding). i’ll drop you an email😉 thanks for offering to help!

  9. Juliana – you are a huge inspiration. I had no idea about TSW until my son followed in your footsteps last June. He is also coeliac (plus has asthma though that is less problematic). I have to say that, as a mum, I have never felt so helpless and unable to do anything other than offer lots of support and encouragement. You and others going through this truly awful condition/process/illness are superstars in my eyes. Stay positive!

    • thank you so much jenny! i’m sorry your son have to go through this ordeal.. i can’t imagine having to witness my own kid suffer this living hell😦 please stay strong for your son! i’m sure your son appreciates all form of encouragement and support you can give him. i am eternally thankful for what my mom has showed me, her resilience, strength, and love have changed me to a better person.🙂 it’s one of the positive takeaways from a scary thing like TSW. i hope your son will learn to appreciate you more too! you too, stay strong, very very strong!

  10. Hi Juliana
    Can you contact me I may have some advice for you and help as a eczema sufferer for 52 years don’t want to jinx myself but much better now I’m older than has ever been in my life.try Kinesiology I have an intolerance to milk was taking a probiotic which I discovered made it much worse.i believe it’s a lot to do with stress and what we eat.ill tell you if you contact me how much steroids creams I was using and I do believe it takes a while to come out your system but not this long.my email is below

    Kind regards
    Theresa

  11. Hi Juliana,

    I’ve been following your blog for awhile now since my eczema started flaring up and I deduced it was the steroid. I’m well into healing now although still far from normal but your blog has been a huge inspiration of mine as you approached it with a huge amount of level headedness. In regards to Theresa’s comment on Kinesiology, I’m planning on trying it out too once I am back since I’m away studying. Since you’re Singapore based, I thought I should inform you the recommended doctor who is based in Tangkak, Johor.

    http://graciouslittlethings.tumblr.com/post/84824002438/dr-wong-meng-kiang-skin-specialist-of-tangkak

    Here’s a review but you can google him for more info. I’m planning to pay him a visit upon my return but if you do go to him, i hope you’d do a review.

    Stay strong and stay positive!

    • hi inez! thank you for your comment! perhaps you’ll like to share your experience on kinesiology after trying it? i’ll add that onto my list of things to try if TCM isn’t able to help me😛

      so glad you’re healing well!! stay strong!

  12. Hello Juliana,

    Firstly, let me say that our family has been following your blog for the past three years and your reporting and documentation has been so helpful and inspirational. I am sorry for the flares you are going through. It is unimaginable to believe becoming so swollen and red at the 4 year mark.

    Me and my two younger brothers were misdiagnosed for the past 20+ years and started withdrawal in June 2012. We are at 34 months now. We were all seen by Dr. Rapaport. His first words when he saw me were “I want to kill them” referring to my previous doctors at the Mayo Clinic and all the 40 other docs.

    I am now a student at Cornell University and will finish my masters degree this May. It was not easy. I am still struggling and have flares even at nearly three years….I spent the entire first 1.5 year inside the bathtub 24/7 and had fluid leaking from head to toe. Dr. Rap had a home nurse come to me to monitor my blood and everything….from that standpoint I am much better but still need the tub everyday b/c of shedding skin and still getting soaked with sweat at night. Face still oozes at times too. My brothers are better too, but my youngest 10 year old brother has been in a bad flare for past few months. Our GP thinks that after 3 years of withdrawal for my brother, he just has severe eczema….However, we consulted with Dr. Rap, and he confirmed again and again that it is just another prolonged flare with red, tight, thick, shedding skin.

    I respect your pursuit of trying to figure out anything that may help. The idea of feeling helpless is understandable, I get it, I tried many things too…But the pictures really look like typical steroid addiction. The shedding, the widespread erythema, the face swelling like a balloon (jokes aside), the oozing…..eczema does not do that….How come magically, the flare has started to dissipate and your skin is drying up, shedding, looking less swollen, less red? You could attribute it to something you did or ate….I know I would like to believe that I had the control to make my symptoms better too…..But the fact is that it would have improved anyway…I just do not want you or anyone else to go through additional stress or financial burden to figure out a root cause…The red sleeve, shedding, wet feeling skin—it’s all the ugliness of topical steroid addiction.

    ….The hives, also mentioned in Dr. Fukaya’s paper are typical of latter stages of TSW. Why this late horrendous flare? I have no idea…..But it definitely does scare me. I am feeling better but I still get knocked down. My pain returns and I have to get back on vicodin or nuerontin for burning…but things change relatively quickly I have been noticing.

    It also should be noted that I have witnesses two types of TSW patients over the past few years. There are those who have been in a continuous flare, like me with some major ups and downs but gradually improving over the course of 4-5 years….And there are the others who seem to have distinct ”breaks” where the skin is flared at the beginning, clears up, may go through a second ‘wave’ , clear up, be looking normal for a while, then have other prolonged flares, interspersed with nearly clear periods…..For my case, I never ever was clear since day 1 of TSW. I still am not clear. I have consistently been red and edematous but now am much less red and swollen. I do not think I will have any breaks, rather may just end up gradually improving.

    Anyway, the point of this lengthy comment was just to briefly introduce our 3 brothers’ story and let you know we have seen Dr.Rapaport several times. I know even he does not know every single aspect of why we have flares. But I do believe that severe eczema does not cause widespread redness, swelling, oozing, and shedding–it was unheard of 60 years ago before steroids…..Keep doing what you are doing. If it psychologically helps to experiment with different things to not feel helpless, then keep doing that…your documentation and resilience make you worthy of winning a nobel prize or medal of honor.— Azeem

    • hello azeem, thanks for your comment! really appreciate you trying to ease my mental load by telling me it’s just TSW, and it’s normal, and i have nothing to fret about because it’ll let up on its own.🙂 i see where you’re coming from and i really do appreciate it!

      before i started reading about traditional chinese medicine, i would have agreed wholeheartedly with you. in fact, that’s what i’ve been preaching for the past 3.5 years, that everything is just TSW. even my little eczema rashes that popped up after i healed, i thought they’re just part of my TSW.

      i’m not saying dr rap is wrong though, he’s seen a lot more patients throughout his life time!

      but it’s a fact that i have an underlying eczema that needs to be treated. things don’t just happen for no reason. and you’re absolutely right, those symptoms i showed look just like TSW symptoms! perhaps my skin is just more fragile after years of steroid use, such that it allowed my underlying eczema to worsen to this extent? there are literature in the chinese medicine world of worsening eczema that led to erythroderma, so i’m not really surprised.

      anyway, i’ll keep updating and sharing what i find!🙂 while it’s stupid to bank too much hope on one thing, but i’m really hoping to cure myself this time round and then help you guys cure yourselves too. that’s my ultimate goal.

      thanks for your comment again🙂

  13. omg doesn’t it sux to go backwards after sooo freaking long! but it’s definitely not as scary and as bad as the first few months of TSW. this time at 18 months into TSW with my big healing crisis it still hit my hard but i got up much much faster. staying positive and letting my body purge out the toxins was and trusting it was really important for me. thank you so much for sharing your story and thoughts in depth. u are still my idol😀 lets keep the healing going!!! xxx ahfaye

    • *hugs* thanks for the uplifting comment! it totally sucks when i take another hit. this 2 step forward 1 step back shit is really hard on my mind, but like you said, it’s definitely not as scary as it used to be. and i keep teling myself – if i can make it through the darkest TSW times, i can definitely make it through this one. so glad to see your skin showing marked improvements within such a short period of time! looking forward to both of us, HEALED AND BEAUTIFUL AGAIN~~ WOOHOOOOOOOO~

      xoxo

      • yea! sometimes i wonder if the it’s all a long and tedious process of the body getting rid of all the irritatnts/antigens within our body, and once that’s done, our skin heals!

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  15. Hi Juliana,

    Feeling so sorry for you that you are still going through this after so long….. I admire your positive outlook and perseverance! Did you expect a flare to return/happen after thinking you were healed for some time and do you reckon this is tsw? Is it easier this time round symptom wise?

    I really sincerely hope this phase moves on quickly and you’ll be healed once and for all. Its was nice and happy coming here every now and then and seeing you out and about with your activities with great skin! Your journey and pain through this has been a living guide and inspiration for so many including me, it has not been in vain just so you know🙂

    • hello ian,

      thanks for your concern! i was a little bummed out when my skin flared again, but it’s just my body telling me that there’re still things i need to address, so i’ll get to it and hopefully let this be another nudge towards a healthier life! i didn’t expect a flare of this scale to return honestly speaking. i did expect minor eczema rashes because i’ve always had eczema as a kid, and i thought it’ll stay at that level after TSW. but i’m proven wrong, because my “mild eczema” can obviously lead to bigger things if not dealt with. i do not think this is TSW per se, because i have not been using steroids for 4 years, there is no way for me to experience another episode of steroid rebound technically speaking. however, i do think that my steroid use has contributed to the grand scale of this flare, because my skin is more compromised than a person who have never used steroids before. to be fair, i guess i can only say that my eczema has worsened due to my underlying predisposition to eczema, but for it to flare to this state, it’s probably due to my steroid use in the past.

      i feel that the symptoms are very similar to those i experienced in my TSW days, however they’re less severe, and shorter in duration. for example i did not experience those “bloody wounds” that ooze for months all over my body. i did turn red, but i’m not very wounded if you know what i mean! it’s much more manageable.

      thanks for your well wishes! i’ll make it a point in my life to make this my last flare in my life, because i’ve been exploring the philosophies of chinese medicine and am going to incorporate it into my life for better health🙂 in a very weird way, i’m actually excited and glad that i flared up again, because it allows me to try more things to share with you all. hahaha i must be crazy.

      hopefully you’ll be seeing a lot of good news in time to come!!🙂

  16. Just want to say that you are a superhero. I don’t know anyone who could deal with all of this, especially in the manner that you’re handling it.

    You are amazing. Stay strong🙂

  17. Hi Juliana,

    Just wanna say that no words can describe how much effect your blog has had on my life. I chanced upon this blog 17 months ago and my life changed forever. My so called “worsening eczema” which I had since Secondary School was getting worse despite all sorts of medications (Creams and Immunosuppressants etc) and I felt my life was going downhill until one day when I was at my lowest, I stumbled across your blog and finally found the answer. I stopped everything and never looked back. Now 17 mths later, although still far from “normal” skin, I’m much happier without the need to use those stupid creams every single night.

    You are one amazing person, I hope you can find the root cause of the problem and hope things will turn positive for you soon! Stay strong and continue to fight on, never give up:)

    Clemmy

    • thank you so much clemmy! comments like yours makes me feel so happy that i’m able to help, to make a difference in your life, and most importantly, help you feel much better about your life. i’ve been in the exact spot you were 17 months ago so i know exactly what you mean.

      i hope to find the cause of my problem too! i can’t wait to share my cure with everyone! i promise you i won’t give up, for ever.😀

      thank you!

  18. Dear Honey

    You are so brave and your journal always inspiration that why we love you

    Cheers
    With love from Thailand fan.

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