[brain fart] lifting my own mood

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this is what i keep telling myself.

finally got around to sit down, settle my thoughts and feelings, and to write something down after my they condensed into words.

i just got back from HONG KONG after spending almost a month there,
i gotta say i’d be a lot happier if my skin was more stable,
but life says no and i just have to deal with it.

there were many times when i just felt like holing up at home, resting because not only is my skin unstable,
i am constantly feeling tired even after getting 7 to 8 hours of sleep.
and i don’t know what’s wrong with me, but i’m no longer impervious to the slightly cooler weather in hong kong.
i used to find 18 degrees C to be really comfortable, but now i feel cold in temperatures like 22C.
my hands turned ice cold that day when the temperature hit 16.
what the f, i used to find hong kong’s pre-winter weather to be extremely comfortable!

back to my monologue,
despite feeling lethargic and not as hyped up as i wished i were,i didn’t allow myself to waste too much time while on my holiday,
after all i was supposed to enjoy my trip, right?

so i’ve been reading a book lately (the paradox of choice), it’s about the detrimental effects of having too many choices in life.
it brought in a lot of behavioral economics/psychology theories,
one that stood out to me was about how humans usually tend to think of situations as “it could have been better”, which resulted in plenty of dissatisfaction and inability to feel happy about what they already have.
i caught myself doing that, so many times!

“if only my skin was better”
“my skin was so good just 2 months ago, why is it looking worse right now?”

why not look at it from the other direction?

“it could have been worse”
“my skin could be oozing right now but i’m not!”
“wow, luckily my skin didn’t crack like it used to!”

and suddenly the tables are turned and i don’t feel that hopeless anymore.

this is for anyone who needs a little push right now🙂

i was chatting with one of my friends (hello brendan) just yesterday,
he was telling me about how most of the other TSW “vetarans” stopped updating their blogs.
i wish – and i wholeheartedly do – it’s because they’re fully healed and have been too occupied with their new found lives to keep coming back to update about their normal lives!

as for me, as i’m still trying to figure out my own eczema,
i think i’ll be here for a little longer.
and even after i heal, you’ll still hear from me.
that’s a promise🙂

and oh, i forgot one thought that i had..

“i’m so glad i can still smile right now without cracking my lip area!”.
that kept me smiling whenever i can, because i know it’s a gift that i can easily take it for granted if not for TSW.

rest well and heal well everyone!

p.s. here’s a photo of me at stanley in hong kong😀
skin was calmer that day and i’m very happy!

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xoxo
juliana

10 thoughts on “[brain fart] lifting my own mood

  1. Hi thanks for replying my comments on ur previous post. U mentioned u use cotton ball to soak up the ooze when oozing. For me, I will apply prickly heat cooling powder on oozing areas. It really dries up the area super fast. Hope u find ur award winning formula soon.

  2. Hi Juliana, 100% agree with the “things could be worse” bit! I keep photos of my skin at its worst in my phone to constantly remind me to be grateful for what I have now🙂 hope u enjoyed your holiday and you’re still looking as gorgeous as ever!

  3. Hi juliana and fellow tsw troopers. My name is peter and i first started following this blog in april 14 when i discovered i was dependant/addicted to steroid creams after years and years of misusing them. (Same old story, right)
    Well, after twelve months of typical tsw symptons my eczema lessened in severity but i could not seem to figure out the ITCH!!! I kept thinking that if only i could stop scratching my skin would heal up just fine, but there i was 18 months after steroid cessation and i wad feeling flat and my skin was a mess. Any slight sweating at work and skin would start crawling! It drove me absolutely nuts….until last week. Last week i forced myself to go into the ocean for a swim. After a couple minutes in the salt water my skin was stinging and itching like crazy! I jumped out and ran to the fresh water shower to rinse off. Then a funny thing happened. I went for another swim a couple hours later, and i noticed the stinging wasnt quite as bad. Again, i rinsed off and felt ok afterwards. That afternoon i was playing some tennis, and i didnt even realise i was sweaty without being itchy!! wtf. Over the next few days i kept going for swims in the ocean and althoigh the first swim of the day i would sting and itch, it then seemed to allow me the rest of the day to be sweaty and active without setting off the ITCH!! I really think im on to something here and i feel like this could be a real game changer for me and my eczema. Has anyone else got any experience with this sort of thing??

    • hi peter!

      sorry about the itch, i know it sucks! but i’m glad the ocean is helping you!!! i have yet to try that yet, but i have heard good things about sunlight and sea water easing the skin. that might be your answer?

      good lock!

  4. Hi Juliana, yours is the blog I always come back to. I’m 4 months into withdrawal and have made such improvements that I’m amazed. But there are times when I feel despondent and your words have made me see my troubles in a different light. Truthfully, as an eczema sufferer, I don’t think I will ever completely be rid of the condition so I think I will have to find a way to live with this and also accept moments of ‘down’ time. PS: I am looking forward to travelling when I get better. You look amazing in the Hong Kong sun.

    Appreciate all that you do for our community.

    • hello there!

      thanks for letting me know how much i’ve helped you! always glad to know that! it sucks to have eczema, but i still believe that with the right life style that can promote better health, i can keep it at bay. everyone has down time, just that it shows on our skin for us. sucks, but yea! it happens. plus it’s just a small issue if i compare it with worse health issues.

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