i know that when i look back at these years i’ve spent rebuilding my health,
it will all make sense because i’ve finally arrived at the conclusion, the one question i’ve been asking – what caused my skin to go bad again?
it will all make sense, eventually.
every thing i’ve experience is but a data point that paints the bigger picture i’m trying to see.
i need time, and more patience.23 APRIL 2016
in the past week, my wrist has gotten better. it’s back to shedding thinner scales instead of thicker, yellowish scales.
skin between my fingers aren’t raised and itchy as before.
but fingers are still a little swollen.
arm and legs are borderline okay.
not normal yet, since they still shed every few days, but it’s not burning red nor oozing.
no raised rashes on those areas, so i’m fine.
in fact it’s getting less red over time.
my face and neck though..
face is now back in the general redness.
i look sun burnt. there’s general dryness, lots of tiny skin flakes instead of sheets of skin.
reminiscent of how i looked at 3 years old – red panda eyes from my allergies?
body is mostly smooth, but has thin skin.
it also has a deep red colour.
but also no raised patches, which is an improvement to me.
perspiration appears to be getting back to normal.
i can sweat from my back now! in fact, i can sweat anywhere.
but scalp is still dry, no signs of sebum yet.
actually, just very little, but it seems to be inconsistent at the moment.
to round things up, i’m still trying to go on plant-based diet, but not at 100% yet since i still have soup made from animals.
but safe to say my meat consumption has been minimal.
i think i’m probably 1 month in?
skin on my body feels better. by better i mean it’s not rashy, nor is it constantly rough.
but it’s not normal yet. if i don’t moisturize, it’ll be plasticky.
and i got that weird numbed feeling when clothes brush past my skin. i don’t like that.
my face and hand flared up the past month and that bothers me.
but hey, natural healing is like that, right?
came across this website which detailed what to expect when improving my diet.
i’m still at the weight loss stage i guess.
already lost around 2kg so far. not that i have a lot of stuff to lose in the first place!
gotta stay strong and hang in there..
6 MAY 2016
self documentation is hard when things are getting worse.
hands got better then worse again,
face got better then worse again.
basically things are up and down.
face is back to the full blown redness, slightly raw.
neck too. they itch.
plasticky face again, 2nd flare this year.
scalp is having some issue too. itchy itchy.
the rest of my body isn’t as itchy,
but it’s still hella dry and fragile.
on the other hand,
i’m perspiring a lot easier than before, it’s always a good news.
sleep is getting better, but it’s only been a few days since i DIDN’T wake at 1am or 3am in the morning,
keeping my fingers crossed.
being able to clock in at least 7 hours of sleep a night is a blessing.
i wouldn’t call what i’m going through TSW symptoms since it’s probably not caused by the withdrawals of steroids,
i don’t know what brought about it, but the symptoms i’m experiencing are rather similar to the past.
but one thing for sure, if i was never addicted to steroids in the first place, i wouldn’t still be paying the debt now.
12 MAY 2016
i ask myself a question, sit on it, and get an answer back after some time.
it’s just a hunch.
if there could be one explanation that explains ALL the symptoms i had in the past 2 years,
my hypothesis have a higher chance of being true.
i’ll talk about it at the end of my observation.
it’s too early to be too sure about it, and considering my blog is being read by people other than myself,
i need to be responsible to everyone else.
skin has been gradually worsening this past month.
skin on neck is very fragile, it doesn’t ooze but it seep moisture if i scratch it.
sleep has been getting a little better, but falling asleep is still hard.
it’s even harder when my neck and back feels warm and moist when in contact with the bed for too long.
still waking up at least once a night, on a bad night i’d wake after every cycle (1.5-2 hours each).
on a good night, just once, usually between 3-5am.
i can fall back asleep quickly though.
finger joints are hurting.
inflammation is increasing.
face is back to the red tomato stage.
dry, plasticky, all that jazz.
the only good news is my mood is rather positive.
not chirpy happy, but i’m not depressed.
arms, legs are ok.
not giving me any problems now, just a little dry and fragile looking.
looking at photos of myself will stress me out, so no photos this month.
i probably won’t put up anymore photos until things make a positive change again.
not doing low nickel diet anymore, because i realize it didn’t have any significant impact.
still going to go on a plant based diet, but not 100% meat free yet.
continuing my gluten free diet. i tried introducing some biscuits and my tummy told me it doesn’t agree with it. makes me extremely gassy and fml, that smell.. =_=
still on TCM, currently trying to improve my sleep while detoxing for my skin.