taking a break

aurevoir

after much consideration, i’ve decided to take a break from blogging for my own sanity.
when my skin gets bad, i find this constant need to try to find answers and explain things not just to myself,
but to everyone who might be reading my blog because i know how my ups and downs can instill hope and fear, respectively, to you all.

deep inside i feel like i owe everyone an explanation,
even though on a conscious level i know i don’t.
but subconsciously, i do.
maybe some day i’ll talk about how crazy i am.

i realize blogging has become a source of stress for me,
especially when things aren’t going great.

the process of seeking answer is stressful in itself.
and putting myself out there invites not just encouragement (which i truly appreciate), but also questioning and doubt from people who care.
i know everyone who questions probably didn’t mean harm, but it can’t change the fact that i’m currently too weak (mentally) to subject myself to that.

i believe in my own judgement, and that’s what matters.
as such, it’s best to stay away from the public eye until i’m capable again.

when i get better again, you’ll be the first to hear it from me on my blog🙂
looking forward to sharing with you my journey once i’m done with it.
i know how it feels like reading a half written book, being stuck at the cliff hanger..
i’d rather give an account of what happened when the storm is over,
especially when this journey isn’t going to be as speedy as i wish.

i’ll see you when i see you.
i have no doubt i’ll be back again, because my body always heals.
it’s just a matter of time.
and i wish yours does too.

good luck, and stay strong everyone!

17 thoughts on “taking a break

  1. Juliana,

    Your blog has been a constant source of encouragement to me from the start. (I’m 4months in on a rollercoaster ride AND getting married in less than two months with facial TSW, go figure?)

    In fact, yours was one of the first blogs I read when I suspected I had TSA and RSS. It gave me the push to question what was happening and for that I will forever be grateful.

    I’m so sorry that things are rough for you right now and wish you the very best during your time off. Recovery is on its way to you, and I fully believe when you return to finish your story, it’ll continue to inspire and give hope to others like myself out there.

    Till then, I’ll be keeping you in my prayers.

  2. Juliana , I m so sorry I didn’t realize I did somewhat put some stress on you, as if u are answerable to the sufferers reading your blog. I pray for your speedy recovery and more so, pray for sustainable permanent recovery for you. Thank you to have written your blog for so long so far, I benefited a lot from it, feeling your courage and faith. and I hope more than a stress factor, writing has also been a great source of relief / emotional release for you.

    most sincere apologies and wishes
    SueAnne

  3. Juliana, hi from canada where it’s much colder for me year round than I believe it is for you.

    I just want to start off by saying, I am sincerely deeply appreciative ❤ of all the words and posts on your blog, also i have soo much admiration for the courage you have to write and post pictures of your eczema. Because I myself have been going through the same emotional turmoil with eczema and it’s effects on my appearance and self esteem. Ever the more so now! as I am deep into my adulthood and continue to struggle with it since birth!( I don’t want to discourage you because really I have not taken as much action with my eczema as you have but I long to try when finances and time permit me too for example going fully raw with my diet.)

    I just feel so close to you when I read your blog, I totally can’t remember how I found your blog but I must have been searching everywhere on the Web during a really bad patch time of my eczema. I think I found you a year and a half ago and I haven’t been visiting as often as I would like due to being so consumed with stresses in life which I believe also doesn’t help the eczema cause. Juliana I just want to say thank God someone is writing about everything im thinking and feeling. So thank you!

    I need to tell you I’m much more older than you and when I was going through my eczema from my teens onwards the Internet was just a babe and information about eczema and other people going through eczema were not as accessible as it is now in this millennium on the Web. (I feel like I’ve been waiting for so long to see others fighting this skin condition as I continue to do, through soo much trial and error. And I understand everyone’s different in terms of healing)

    I feel the urge to just tell you about my time with eczema because I pretty much read everything you wrote in your blog and have been so in tune to all your words as if it were me. I just want to share with you my feelings and my story whether it helps or not, I just don’t want you to stop writing about the hope for your cure(I know it’s difficult)

    finally an intro. I know and sorry this is so long thank you if you read this I’ll try to keep it short ; first off my name is Samuel I was born in Canada I’ve had eczema since birth. I took a steroid in elementary but it didn’t work for me so I stopped the use of it so I used scratch my self bloody as a child since I didn’t use a steroid I mentally just prevented myself from scratching and then my eczema cleared this was lost bloody disgusting scab battles with my fingers and skin. It was so gruesome to me as a child I just didn’t want to scratch and make it worse ever again. After 3rd grade I my skin was clear. It came back when I was in grade 12 so pretty much 9 years of clear skin

    • Sorry I didn’t finish I accidently press post button. But continuing on I had 9 years of clear skin up until grade 12 when I was becoming more stressed with school. I believe stress brought it back to me.

      Eczema in my past could only be found on my arms and legs. But at grade 12 it reached my face. I didn’t know what was happening but I was shedding so much at 16 from my face. That was the beginning until now. I just want to tell you I am a male so i was so embarrassed to really try to solve my eczema with the doctor so I just thought I needed the right kind of moisturizer. I never used steroids from grade 12 even until I was 29 did not use steroids. I struggled to with ups and downs and highs and lows hoping it would just go away for 10 years plus!

      My clear bouts with skin came around when I was less stressed with my adult life although more responsibilities come with age equals more stress.

      My long story short! My face was so horrible in public one day. A lady came up to me and wrote me a note saying,” my daughter is going through the same thing she saw a doctor and helped.” I saw this doctor and have been using steroids the last 3 years of my life. My skin now is more consistently clearer because I use the steroids late in my life but I know this is bad in the long run. Im longing to just detox and go raw vegan as I’ve seen people on YouTube do it. I don’t know?

      My story sucks I know and I hope I did not discourage you because I’ve been fighting this for so long. I just want to thank you and say I love you and actually I love you for who you are as a person and fighting this minor problem in our lives. I think when we all love each other not for our looks but our inner selves we can be less stressed and be more healed.

      Juliana xoxo

  4. Thank you dear Juliana, for all these years of sharing your wisdom with us, blogreeders.
    Wish you rest, harmony and health in your life. And welcome back, whenever you want.

  5. Dear Juliana, best wishes to your road to recovery!!

    I still recommend to read 賴宇凡的書. 她的第一本 “要瘦就瘦,要健康就健康” page 278 “進行消化道痊癒飲食” helps to heal the “leaky gut” so that we can improve digest/absorb food nutrients first before other healing can happen. 第二本 “身體平衡, 就有好情緒” has information about Nerve symptoms and more on its relations with the digestion system. 第三本 “吃出天生燒油好體質” has a section for “Healing Reactions” and how to maintain a balanced meal. Also, in the 1st book page 232&237, it describes the stages how Hormone Glands turning weak or better.

    I think she did a very good job organizing all the information out there. I used her books as references and adjusted the information based on my own body’s reactions. In general, these books help me a lot. This is an on-going effort, and I think I am on the right tract.

    Plant based diet did not work for me (Vegan diet made me weaker).

    Hope you can benefit from these books as I did! Good Luck!
    http://blog.shishikeke.com.tw/

    Lin
    p.s. I don’t know 賴宇凡, this is purely based on my own experiences🙂.

  6. Totally understand, Juliana. While I greatly appreciate you brave warriors who go public and share your stories and tips, I could never do so myself. It IS stressful. You take care of your beautiful self because no one else is gonna do it like you can. Peace be with you and God Bless you. ~KJ

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  7. Enjoy your break, Juliana. You deserve it. Thank you for sharing your experiences because you’ve helped and encouraged more than you know. When I came across your blog and TSW pictures in October 2013, we finally had hope for our then 10 yr old son. He turns 13 tomorrow. We experienced the rollercoaster hell on earth of TSW, and he is almost 32 months TSW and is doing so much better off topical steroids. May God bless you with continued healing!

    Rosemarie

    • Hi PohChern,
      Are u from Sg too? I just started w Tangs Clinical beginning of July. So far, not too bad. Can see recovery on my right ankle. Left ankle is still stubborn and difficult to clear…
      How’s your recovery so far?

      • yes I live in Sg. I am in steroid for the past 10 years so… still in TSW and the recovery is slow. but I believe the Tangs method will cure me. Good luck to you🙂

  8. you have been a great support to me during my TSW and now in my 21st month and still going through it… take good care & pray for you…

  9. I hope you’re hanging in there right now. You are so brave and important and heroic for chronicling your journey so that others can better understand what’s happening to their bodies. I know how low things can get, and I hope you never feel alone at those points. And that you realize those lows are temporary. I wish the best for you, and I know you’re equipped to handle this hardship – far more equipped than most. Lots of love from a fellow warrior.

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