[brain fart] happy to smile

there are days when i find it easy to laugh,
and days that i just can’t find my laughter even when i saw something funny.

as of the past few weeks, i noticed that whenever my lips are going through a cycle,
by that i mean drying out, tightening of the skin, shedding, and cracking open,
whenever the ability to smile is limited,
i feel worse.

even looking at cute animal photos and videos doesn’t ellicit so much as a giggle.
what’s wrong with me!?

then i remember this little fact that said the act of smiling can make you feel happy.
surprising isn’t it?
usually, we smile when we feel happy,
but the opposite is true too!
we can influence our emotions with our physical behaviour.

unfortunately, the area around my lips happened to be areas i used plenty of steroids on.
elomet in particular.
i think it’ll be several more cycles before it will get back to normal.

till then, i’ll try to savour every moment when i can actually smile.
i can get away with 1 or 2 days of flexible skin near my lips that allows me to smile.
i’ll just have to smile harder during those days to stock up on my happiness level i suppose?

if it works that way, that is.



4 thoughts on “[brain fart] happy to smile

  1. Hi Juliana,

    Long time since I last wrote. How many months TSW are you in now? I am entering 13 months and have begun to discover life again. My neck still itches when I sweat and looks like a recovering burn victim (on a bad day). Under my thighs still itch and micro flake. My legs still have very uneven skin tone with faint reptile dry skin marks, that my dermatologist says AmLactin should help.

    I just wanted to tell you that I am so proud to know someone like you who has dared to take the harder path of TSW. You are closer than you think to complete withdrawal. Please keep smiling because, YES, the act of smiling makes us happier. You are beautiful no matter what, but you shine when you smile!

    Aloha, KJ in Hawaii

    On Mon, Feb 13, 2017 at 11:55 PM, juliana’s topical steroid withdrawal journey wrote:

    > juliana posted: “there are days when i find it easy to laugh, and days > that i just can’t find my laughter even when i saw something funny. as of > the past few weeks, i noticed that whenever my lips are going through a > cycle, by that i mean drying out, tightening of th” >

    • hello kj!

      thanks for your sweet comment, that did put a smile on my face 🙂 i’m glad to know you’re discovering life again. may this new found appreciation bring you a lot of joy you’ve never known!

  2. Hi Juliana,

    I have been following your blog since almost the beginning. I believe i started TSW around the same time and went through all the horrific things it entails. I couldnt work for the first two years, i didnt leave the house for months on end. Your blog was the only place i turned to for any sign of hope. For the last four years i barely had any relief and slept 4 hours on a great day, generally i would sleep 2 to 3.
    My face and neck were the most effected areas and when i had a bit of relief, my face would still be bumpy. it was embarrassing to go out because i couldnt cover it. Before TSW i was extremely social. During TSW i hardly went out and i felt like there was no point in living as i was constantly in pain. I tried everything during this time, i was so desperate i would give everything at least a chance. Though during that time, not much worked. Going to the beach helped but when you are cut all over sometimes it was too painful.
    Right up until Dec 16 I could barely make it out of my house. However, in the new year i decided to give up sugar completely. I’d also quit my job to focus on my health. Since quitting sugar in Jan 17, my skin has gone from good to great to amazing. It has never been better in my life. I sleep so well now. my face is so smooth and soft that i even get compliments. my neck and upper body are still affected but hardly anything to complain about. i hardly itch now and when i do it doesnt last for too long. i just have to be extremely careful with not eating sugar. i followed the i quit sugar from sarah wilson for a lot of my recipes. while i didnt do her program, it was a great place for resource.
    I never wrote before because i was still on the healing journey and wanted to make sure i was healed before i even give any advice. while i know everyone’s TSW journey is different, I hope maybe this may help you.
    I also take two probiotics and vitamin D everyday. I have found these help significantly reduce the itch.
    Happy to discuss more if you like. I hope you continue to get better!


    • hey A! i’m glad to hear quitting sugar made such a huge impact in your health!!!!!!! really happy for you! and thanks for sharing that with me!

      on a side note, if sugar makes you feel worse, then taking probiotics is a really good thing you’re doing. who knows, you might be having an undiagnosed SIBO problem, or other gut issues that is generally worsened by sugar. hopefully your guts will rebalance in time to come, so that you won’t be as sensitive to sugar anymore! while i think that a no sugar diet is good in general, it’s very hard to avoid unless you prepare all the food yourself. also, i doubt the human body was designed to be thaaaaat sensitive and to react as negatively to a little sugar.

      i hope you feel even better soon!

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