this is what i keep telling myself.
finally got around to sit down, settle my thoughts and feelings, and to write something down after my they condensed into words.
i just got back from HONG KONG after spending almost a month there,
i gotta say i’d be a lot happier if my skin was more stable,
but life says no and i just have to deal with it.
there were many times when i just felt like holing up at home, resting because not only is my skin unstable,
i am constantly feeling tired even after getting 7 to 8 hours of sleep.
and i don’t know what’s wrong with me, but i’m no longer impervious to the slightly cooler weather in hong kong.
i used to find 18 degrees C to be really comfortable, but now i feel cold in temperatures like 22C.
my hands turned ice cold that day when the temperature hit 16.
what the f, i used to find hong kong’s pre-winter weather to be extremely comfortable!
back to my monologue,
despite feeling lethargic and not as hyped up as i wished i were,i didn’t allow myself to waste too much time while on my holiday,
after all i was supposed to enjoy my trip, right?
so i’ve been reading a book lately (the paradox of choice), it’s about the detrimental effects of having too many choices in life.
it brought in a lot of behavioral economics/psychology theories,
one that stood out to me was about how humans usually tend to think of situations as “it could have been better”, which resulted in plenty of dissatisfaction and inability to feel happy about what they already have.
i caught myself doing that, so many times!
“if only my skin was better”
“my skin was so good just 2 months ago, why is it looking worse right now?”
why not look at it from the other direction?
“it could have been worse”
“my skin could be oozing right now but i’m not!”
“wow, luckily my skin didn’t crack like it used to!”
and suddenly the tables are turned and i don’t feel that hopeless anymore.
this is for anyone who needs a little push right now 🙂
i was chatting with one of my friends (hello brendan) just yesterday,
he was telling me about how most of the other TSW “vetarans” stopped updating their blogs.
i wish – and i wholeheartedly do – it’s because they’re fully healed and have been too occupied with their new found lives to keep coming back to update about their normal lives!
as for me, as i’m still trying to figure out my own eczema,
i think i’ll be here for a little longer.
and even after i heal, you’ll still hear from me.
that’s a promise 🙂
and oh, i forgot one thought that i had..
“i’m so glad i can still smile right now without cracking my lip area!”.
that kept me smiling whenever i can, because i know it’s a gift that i can easily take it for granted if not for TSW.
rest well and heal well everyone!
p.s. here’s a photo of me at stanley in hong kong 😀
skin was calmer that day and i’m very happy!