day 140

i think i know what those wells are. they’re vesiculation.
yuck.

face was super itchy last night..i rubbed quite a bit and it oozed.
FML.

day 137

i dont know how to describe my skin anymore.
things have been recurring.
red/itchy -> skin dries and shed -> repeat

skin on torso, arm, and legs seems relatively better, but not normal yet.
eczematic rash here and there.
i don’t know if they are eczema rashes, but i just use the term cause they are slighly red and raised.
not itchy.

shoulders are healing, doesn’t flake as much.
skin there is progressively getting softer.
it used to be like elephant skin – hard and rough.

left wrist seems alot better than right wrist.
did i use more steroids on my right wrist?

skin on the thigh near my knee is relative worse than the skin of the outside of the thigh.

as for my face,
it’s still shedding. and itchy.
BIG SIGH.

and my ankles,
still oozing, but i think it’s starting to heal up.

see the 4 little holes in the circle?
i have no idea what they are, but i observe these little holes for quite some time..
last time when my calf was crazily shedding, after the scab falls off, it will reveal these little wells.
it will be filled with fluid, upon drying with a tissue, you see the wells.
these were on my ankle, where the holes are relatively larger so it’s more visible.
i observe them on other areas that scab too.
like on the skin above and below my lips,
after the scab falls off i see micro wells there.

no idea why they are there, but just quite interesting (and disgusting at the same time).
i know they’ll go away eventually (as with what i observed on my calf)..

day 129

the cycle is one a 1 better day and 3 not-so-good days regime now.

right now it’s feeling a little bad cause I have been scratching in my sleep last night.

I wish I can just hide home for a few months. it’s not so much about how
it look but how it feels outside. when I am in school the air con dries my already dry skin.

some parts are still oozing juice. my face is still blotchy and kinda sensitive. cheeks and lip area especially.

I just wanna hide home. I’m sure you feel the same way as I do.

day 124

after a week.. the cycle seems to be dying down today.
it was still very rampant this noon,
but by evening, things seems to be calming down.

the outer side of my calf is totally smooth.
feels like normal skin, but still squishy.
there are some dark marks there though,
was infested with rashes previously.
the inner side have some rashes here and there.

right now my cheeks still flake every 2 days.
chin area is dry everyday.
exudes every night.
upper lips dry up to for big and think pieces of skin.
lower lips have little skin flakes that are quite thick.
this differs from the original thin skin flakes.

my arms are getting alot of flaking now too.
shoulders are badly affected.
then elbows.
wrist is leathery.
cracking of skin seldom occur now unless i overstretch the joint areas.

my feet is still..
i don’t know. bad.

day 121

i survived another 2 days,
not without it’s emotional damage,
but i’m recovering, both inside and outside.

i think i’m slowly recovering,
the skin on my face is peeling.
the skin on the chin isn’t that crusty and thick skin for now.
area above lips are very fragile, they ooze at night if i touch it too much.

i think the “heat” is back.
i’m losing alot of heat through my skin again,
it makes it hard for me to sleep as it gets too warm.
haven’t been sleeping well for the past week..
i can finally confirm the heat coming back.

it’s been a very tough week,
i hope this cycle is coming to an end soon.

i’ve been scratching my calf and there’re red little rashes.
oops.

day 117

i’m so tired.

why did i decide to undertake this seemingly impossible task of quitting steroids?
not that i want to go back to it.. but it’s getting harder and harder each time.

my face is changing skin.
it’s all hard cheeks-down.
hardened and cracked but not ready to come off yet.

i can only eat in small mouthfuls.

day 116

yesterday my upper lip was raw and oozing.
today the skin there has hardened.
i can’t even put vaseline there yesterday..
i guess it’s changing skin.

my cheeks’ skin has also hardened and thickened.
i think that’s better than it being so sensitive.

feels like a dummy who can’t move its mouth,
i can only open it slightly.
i can’t even smile.
so please don’t make me laugh.

the wounds on my feet are still there.

hair fall today was a little more than the previous few days.

i really wish to sleep my life away until my skin decide to be back to normal.

day 114

my face is going through another cycle,
and i’m not feeling good about it.

my right hand is feeling bad too.

feeling low again.

day 113

i think (and i hope) that my hairfall is finally back to normal.

my neck, shoulders, elbow flexure, wrist, finger, knee flexure are still having the peeling cycles.
itchy sometimes.

face is still in the process of a cycle.
forehead seems to be better than the lower part of my face.
part above and below my lips is still very sensitive,
seems rashy.
cheeks get itchy sometimes.

SIGH. 4 months is almost up.